Last chemo today!

I've got the same problem with necklines.It's hard to clothes shop because alot of tops are just that little bit too low.I didn't want to throw out my favourites so I sewed fake camisole lace/fabric strips across the lowest point. I did this with my swimming costume too and they all look good.I'm careful about bending over cos of the concave thing.Like you girls,I'd have to have the diep recon.But I couldn't begin to think of that sort of surgery(and money)at the moment. I also worry that the cancer might come back in the same spot again and this way I can keep an eye on the area.What if it started to grow again under the "flap"?You wouldn't know cos you're not having mammos after recon. Having b cancer twice has made me somewhat paranoid I think.So guess I'll be keeping the concave chest and my prosthesis buddy for awhile yet.

                                              Tonya xx

I know what you mean Di, necklines are a nightmare! I used to love my cleavage so much! Since I'm only caved in on one side, it looks so weird when I go bra-less around the house. And the 12 hour surgery seems so massive, but I'm scared to keep my other boob and I don't want to wear prosthesic boobs for the rest of my life.

I just take things one day at a time too. In the grand scale of things, it's not that bad!!

xx Jane 

My first oestrogen positive cancer was in April 2009 and then at my annual mammogram in May this year the new tumor was found. 100% triple negative. No receptors for oestrogen nor progesterone nor HER2. It was right next to the lumpectomy scar tissue. I also wish I'd had the mastectomy first time around. They told me same difference but that's not true! I'm on the public waiting list now for a DIEP re construction. Privately the gap is $19K just for the surgeon's fee and I have Top Health Cover! I hate how I am now. It's hard with necklines in summer with my caved in chest. I may go ahead earlier if I cant stand it any more, but I also want to have my immune system in tip top condition so I recover quickly. It's a huge op for two boobs! 12 hours I think. Micro surgery. So I just take it one day at a time. I'm happy for now ! Cheers, Diane

My first oestrogen positive cancer was in April 2009 and then at my annual mammogram in May this year the new tumor was found. 100% triple negative. No receptors for oestrogen nor progesterone nor HER2. It was right next to the lumpectomy scar tissue. I also wish I'd had the mastectomy first time around. They told me same difference but that's not true! I'm on the public waiting list now for a DIEP re construction. Privately the gap is $19K just for the surgeon's fee and I have Top Health Cover! I hate how I am now. It's hard with necklines in summer with my caved in chest. I may go ahead earlier if I cant stand it any more, but I also want to have my immune system in tip top condition so I recover quickly. It's a huge op for two boobs! 12 hours I think. Micro surgery. So I just take it one day at a time. I'm happy for now ! Cheers, Diane

You're exactly right, what else can we do? I just do whatever my oncologist recommends and then try not to think about it. I've never heard of two different types of cancer from one tumour. How much time passed between your two diagnoses? Everyone has such different journeys considering we all have the same disease. I wish I'd had both boobs off when I had my mastectomy in August, but since there was only a few days to decide, I thought I'd just get the cancer affected one off and worry about the other later. Have you had recontruction? xx Jane

Hi Jane, I had a recurrence too (same spot, left breast) although my second one was triple negative. First one was 70% estrogen receptive so the Oncologist said it was still the same Primary but the negative cells survived my Chemo and Radio. I had a lumpectomy the first time but this time I went ahead and had the bi lateral mastectomy. I'm on Tamoxifen just to prevent the first cancer coming back but it's not really necessary as the second cancer was triple negative. Even my Oncologists had to think about what to do for me! Has anyone ever heard of two different cancers like this from the same tumor? I also felt alone when Chemo stopped, because you are really on your own then and it's scary! Like Tonya, I find it hard to plan holidays too far ahead. You just never know and it's an awful way to live. I'll remember not to have scans or ultra sounds just before I do go away! But what else can you do?

I agree about getting the research done because I've been tempted to just rush in and get the other one off and have a double reconstruction asap!! I need to take a breath and get over the chemo first really. My oncologist said my second cancer was completely new. Apart from different pathology, it was too far from the first one to be related. At least it means all my treatment 'worked' for the first one, but then I'm left wondering my my body developed a brand new one. Hopefully my high eostrogen levels were the cause and removing my ovaries will help protect me!! So many twists and turns to consider with all this treatment. Each new step brings it's own side effects and dramas! Just have to keep our thoughts positive and focus on the good things. xx Jane

My doctor said it was virtually the same cancer as the first-must have been a stray cell that survived.It was eostrogen +ve and -ve hercepton.It was also in the very same spot as the previous cancer.Apparently we are in the "special"8%that get it again despite radiation.Wow,and you did chemo AND Tamoxifen and it still came back. You are like me-our options for reconstruction are limited to the diep option because the radiation ruins the skin elasticity.I'm not ready for any more operations yet and I've become paranoid about my scarline anyway.I want to keep a check on it cos my cancer was close to the chest wall.Gosh,you can't even relax after a clear mammogram-lucky you found the second cancer.I'm like you and Chris and at some point in time ,will think about getting the other boob off.But you have to do your research and be in the right head space.

                                                  Tonya xx

Hi Chris, Celeste and Di, Love hearing from you girls; you really understand how all this feels. I agree with you Chris that removing the other breast helps with the feeling that we're doing as much as we can to prevent new cancers, but I must admit that it doesn't stop me thinking about spread elsewhere. It seems like such a lottery. Chemo is so hard, I wish it could kill every bloody cancer cell!! How are you finding chemo second time round Celeste? Do you know what type you had last time and what you're on now? I hope it goes by quick for you. Lots of love to you all x Jane

Congrats to you Jane, that's a great milestone!  Love the pic, btw, and go you for the first blog post (it's a little nerve-wracking isn't it? ;).

Di