Here we go 🌸

Jennie_Lou

I only know my biopsy results, triple negative hormones, metastatic invasive breast cancer. 4cm in my lymph nodes & 3cm 3 o’clock left breast. I’m currently waiting to hear the full diagnosis & discuss treatment options with the specialists. I discovered the lump 2 weeks ago, Had it checked Monday and my doctor knew straight away that it was serious, booked my biopsy and ultrasound. Came back confirmed cancer Wednesday morning, CT scan and blood tests done Thursday. I’m waiting for the call from the Mater Hospital, I had hoped I’d be called yesterday. I’m 38 (no kids, so grateful). I’ve lost so much weight these past few months, had headaches, nausea, all passed on as stomach bugs. I’m keeping it together a little too well for my family & friends and being so positive. Reminding them ‘it’s so common, I’ll be fine’. It’s exhausted me & I truly feel ill. Everyone just starts crying when they see me.. I’m truly sorry for anyone going through this. I feel so overwhelmed and it’s just beginning 

 

Chris51

I can so identify with your feelings of exhaustion and anxiety. It was this time last year that I was in a similar situation. No easy words BUT you are going through the worst part I think. Once the surgery/treatment plan is underway it does get easier. I also lost weight because I just couldn’t eat, even though I knew I had to try. I also had major issues with sleep which didn’t help. 12 months down the track I am in a much better ‘space’. I have put on most of the weight I lost and fortunately my treatment - surgery/radiation/ Letrozole hasn’t knocked me around too much. The anxiety is still there, especially when the follow up appointments and scans are scheduled. I can also identify with your feelings of keeping on a positive note for those around you. My 2 children are adults now but I felt very strongly that I wanted to prevent them from stressing too much if I could. There is no easy way I don’t think - you need to navigate the days & weeks ahead in a way that works for you. It does get easier once that initial shock & fear of the unknown subsides. This network is a great reference place and sounding board.
i wish you well in the weeks ahead as you work through this horrible journey. Take time for you and remember to ask all those questions of the doctors you deal with. There is light at the end of the tunnel - just takes a while to get there. 🌹🌹🌹

Afraser

Dear@Jennie_Lou
No one can pretend this is what you want or that being here is a good thing but welcome nevertheless. The shock can carry you through for quite a while. Many have no inkling anything is amiss. Being positive for your family and friends is common too - it helps immensely if they can be positive for you, but their initial response is often pain and worry. What to do? Just as you are doing - get all the info you can, and then ask all the questions you can about treatment and options. Sadly bc is common and yes, many like me are several years past diagnosis and doing fine. But it can be a hard road, so my advice would be: keep your energies for the things that really matter; take one step at a time, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by things that may only ever exist in your imagination; keep remembering that no one knows what their future will be, whatever we had planned - the only thing we can be sure of is that life goes forward. Keep your sights on the future and being well in that future. Once you know what treatment you will have, it’s easier to plan at least the next few weeks. If you have a calm other person to take with you to your first consultations, that can be useful, it’s hard to take everything in at first. The network can be an effective sounding board, release valve and source of sensible information, so use it. Best wishes. 

kezmusc

Hi @Jennie_Lou,

Welcome lovely.  Definitely sux to be here but you'll find a wealth of warmth and knowledge on the forum.

 The start is just awful.  So many unknowns running around in your head and the endless waiting for results and a plan.   I found it in the nodes first so knew it had spread already as well.  I am sure everyone here remembers that ice cold fear and cloudy fog at the beginning. 

Ask a million questions of your team and if you don't understand something ask them again.  It's very easy to be swept along feeling like you have no control at the start.

Isn't it odd how a lot of us end up calming everyone else down?  I found this too which is why I stopped taking anyone to appointments apart from the breast care nurse, that way I didn't have to deal with their emotions as well. Everyone handles things differently and you just need to do whatever is best for you to get through.  There is no right or wrong way to do it.

It is a long and windy roller coaster, but once a plan is in place you are so busy with appointments and treatment that the time litterally flies.

All the best lovely.  We are here if you need us, we get it.
xoxoxoxoxo

strongtogether

Welcome to the club nobody wants to join. You already know that you have a tough journey ahead of you, but please believe that you can make it through. There will be tough times, don't hesitate to lean on the awesome people in your life. You now have the bcna team cheering for you.
 Keep the faith. This too shall pass.
Hugs

youngdogmum

Hi @Jennie_Lou which city for Mater are you located in?

arpie

Sorry to see you here, @Jennie_Lou - but you are in the right spot for support, comfort, advice & even venting - from those who've gone before you ..... 

Will you have a friend or family member attend the meetings with you?   Even if you do - maybe record the meetings on your phone, as it is easy to 'miss bits' as you are pondering what they've just said, you miss the next bit.  

The waiting for appointments & results etc really sucks big time - I hope you get your game plan really soon.

Take care & thinking of you xxx

Michele B

Hi @Jenny Lou, I haven't got anything I can add to what these 
 lovely ladies have already said but jusr wanted to say welcome.
I am 5 years post diagnosis and doing well, but remember like yesterday when I discovered my lump and the absolute fear and dread I felt.  A friend of mine has also just been diagnosed and is currently feeling all the overwhelming emotions you are.
I have four adult children and still try to keep a positive spin on things so they don't worry.
Wishing you all the very best with surgery and treatment. 
Lots of support to be found here on the days when things are too much to handle alone. 
You are amongst friends who truly understand.
Big hugs
Michele x

Caz1

Hi @Jennie_Lou
Sending love and hugs.  It’s really hard at the start when you don’t know what is happening.

You are in the best place here for info and support. You are never alone.
Caz x

Jennie_Lou

Isn't it odd how a lot of us end up calming everyone else down?  

This. This is what’s been the worst. Im acting like superwoman & people are breaking down in front of me. It’s become too much. Exhausting 😪 I’m so glad I’ve found this forum 💞🌸

Annie C

@Jennie_Lou
I'm two years down the track. In the beginning I was overwhelmed, just overwhelmed. 

I had 4 weeks between diagnosis and surgery. In that 4 weeks I had 3 return flights to Perth (I am very remote - in the Kimberley) because of a lack of coordination from the hospital with scans, tests and appointments. 

I found other people's reactions very hard to handle, add in my anger at having my retirement plans of travel thrown into disarray, the fact that I had to leave my beloved home in the Kimberley for quite some time, along with the need to find financially affordable accomodation in Perth I was not a 'nice' person to be around.

And the constant 'how are you', along with townsfolk wanting to hug me (I am NOT a hugger) and the continual advice, useful or not, from people regarding treatment, was too much.

I had a 'bolt' hole, a place in the bush that I could go to, armed with a thermos and a snack where I could sit, watch the birds at the waterhole, yell, scream, sob, cry, pick up the pieces and then go home somewhat a little calmer and "put together".

My way of handling the whole shebang was to keep my own company. That was best for me. 

This forum has been very supportive. The lovely people on here are non judgemental, encouraging, warm, friendly and helped me realise that there is no "right" way, it is what works for you. 

My very warm Kimberely wishes to you.

Annie

primek

Hi and welcome and acknowledge how hard it all is,  yes it's  exhausting. I just wanted to say that lymph node involvement means locally advanced cancer. Even though they are metasteses on pathology, it can still be curable if in lymph nodes. It's the distant metasteses they consider stage IV. 
My niece was diagnosed in her 30s with 10 positive nodes, whilst a different cancer, 16 years on she is cancer free. I exoect you are waiting for the rest of the results...that was the hardest time for me. I felt much better once I had surgery and chemo. It's the waiting that did my head in.

Sister

Welcome @Jennie_Lou The others have said it all, really.  It can be exhausting trying to keep everyone else up when you're trying to get your head around everything yourself.  How you react to this disease will be your own way but we do understand where many people in your "real life" won't.  I found that I didn't want to have to constantly tell people what was happening so I asked two of my best friends (from two different friendship groups) and told them, asking them to pass on the info and to say that I didn't want to talk to people for the moment.  While I was in hospital for surgery, my husband set up a blog page for me.  I posted in that quite often so that family, friends and colleagues could follow what was going on.  It made it so much easier for all of us and now is a fantastic record of a year that I don't really recall very well.

Remember to breathe and take one day at a time.

Jennie_Lou

youngdogmum said:

Hi @Jennie_Lou which city for Mater are you located in?

Brisbane City 💞

Jennie_Lou

Thank you everyone. I think getting the diagnosis and learning the treatment options will put some of my anxiety to rest. I’m still in shocked. 38, I’ve been through 6 years of knee surgeries (benign tumours), I kind of thought I’d made it though that. So this has just gobsmacked me 

Jennie_Lou

Did anyone else have server shoulder cramps, headaches? I’ve had issues sleeping,night sweats, absolutely no appetite, I’m a healthy 78kg normally, down to 62kg within 4/5 weeks