Christmas Funnies ....... put them up here for a laugh!

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  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,093 ✭
    And I ALWAYS feel sorry for those who share their birthdays with Xmas/Boxing Day or a week either side .....


  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,093 ✭
    Oh - THIS one is good!  LOL





  • FLClover
    FLClover Member Posts: 1,573 ✭
    @arpie 😂😂😂. 
    I like this thread, nice you’ve refreshed it 👌🏻😊
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,093 ✭
    CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!!

    T'WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS – OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
    HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LIST.
    MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS. ...
    I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS. ...
    I'VE BUSTED MY ARSE FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR.
    INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA" – WHAT DO I HEAR?

    THE OLD LADY BITCHES COS I WORK LATE AT NIGHT…
    THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY –THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.
    RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND CRASHED THE DAMN SLED.
    DONNER IS PREGNANT, VIXEN'S OFF HIS HEAD.
    AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER,
    THOSE ARSEHOLES FROM THE TAX OFFICE SENT ME A LETTER.

    THEY SAY I OWE TAXES – IF THAT AIN'T DAMN FUNNY.
    WHO IN THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA MONEY?
    THE KIDS THESE DAYS – THEY ALL ARE THE PITS.
    THEY WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE…THOSE MEAN LITTLE SHITS.
    I SPENT A WHOLE YEAR MAKING WAGONS AND SLEDS,
    ASSEMBLING DOLLS, THEIR ARMS, LEGS AND HEADS,

    I MADE TONS OF YOYO'S – NO REQUEST FOR THEM…
    THEY ALL WANT COMPUTERS…I'M NOT IBM!
    FLYING THROUGH THE AIR…DODGING THE TREES,
    FALLING DOWN CHIMNEYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES.
    I'M QUITTING THIS JOB…THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT.
    I'LL SIT ON MY ARSE AND DRAW UNEMPLOYMENT
  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,093 ✭
    haha

  • arpie
    arpie Member Posts: 8,093 ✭
    Haha .... at least it will smell like a Xmas tree and won’t drop needles.... ! 


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