Hi all,When I was first diagnosed with BC last October, I made the decision to look for the smallest silver linings in each day to help me get through the overwhelming challenges I have to face in 2018.....6 months of chemo, surgery, 12 weeks of radiation, hormone treatments. Add to that, a 13 year old son with autism who completes school via distance education and a daughter starting university. Ive been really struggling in the last two weeks to find any silver linings. The tears are flowing, I feel so out of control and can’t imagine how I’ll get through it all. I’ve read so many of your posts in the past months which have helped to ease my never ending fears. Just needed to reach out to you all and not feel so isolated. You are all my silver lining for today.

It can be a “shit bomb” (as @Summerhill38 likes to call it) that leaves you feeling like you are covered in a massive pile of it . There’s never a “good time” to get breast cancer is there but rest assured love you can and will climb through the massive pile of toxic waste and hose yourself off stand back up and you will know that you have well and truly kicked the arse hole that breast cancer is in the fucking balls and leave it lying where it belongs, in the massive pile of shit you will crawl out of. Do you have any family or friends or a partner for support? Can someone help you with the home schooling? Perhaps someone from the school can help you with that? Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it or take help from others if they offer. And I’m sure you daughter will do great they all find there feet on their own she will be strong and indeoemdant don’t worry. Where abouts do you live? Is there a local support group near you at all? Or do you have a breast care nurse to help you source this info ? There are so many challenges in life and breast cancer is one that none of us need nor want and you have to put your big girl pants on and grow a big set of hairy balls to get through it that’s for sure but there are times when we all just want to have a melt down tell everyone and everything to fuck off as well, but once you’ve done that you feel between your legs that your big hairy balls are still there and ready to smack bc in the face and then you pull your big girl undies back on and away you go again. It’s ok to feel the way you are but you will get through it and we on this forum will all be here holding your hand. Biggest hug. Margie xx

Thanks for all your posts. I’m so glad that I reached out to you all. I’ve made contact with a local BC support group today and finally pulled out the information the hospital social worker gave me regarding counselling. Just needed the moral support and encouragement to do it. Thanks for helping me rediscover some silver linings

It's all so hard at the beginning. It's overwhelming. It's fine to cry, have a down day and just feel sorry for you. It's normal. And you will regroup and carry on. You are stronger than you believe. Try not to look too far ahead. Just look at this week. Or just tomorrow. One day at a time. Being in touch with services will help provide you with valuable support for your son if you need it. We are here for you. Kath x

Hello @Silverlining When I was diagnosed I had one daughter who had just started Uni and another who had suffered all her life from crippling anxiety (she completed school through distance ed also). There were lots of issues in addition to this too! It was overwheming if I thought about ‘everything’ and how we would all get through it.But the advice I received from others on here was to take it one step at a time. Just breathe, they said, and do what you have to do to get through the next day or even just the next hour sometimes. When you think about it that is all you CAN do. One step, one hour, one day, one week, one chemo, one radiation treatment at a time.I had a mastectomy, 6 months chemo and then radiation. It was difficult. In the last week of radio we even moved house. But one way or another it all got done, maybe not how I would have preferred but we all made it through, helping each other. I learned to let others help. My daughter who had such terrible anxiety came through with flying colours. Afterwards she was incredibly helpful during my recovery. Both my daughters are doing really well now and I think our experience has actually helped them to get to where they are now.That was 5 years ago. I am well, still on hormone treatment, and life is pretty good most of the time. I could never have imagined how different (and in many ways, actually better) life is now. Even now I try to remember that whenever life throws up a challenge, just breathe, and do what you need to do one step at a time. It really is all that you can do and it will get you through everything. When you don’t know what will happen, just do the best you can for RIGHT NOW. And when you need to, come on here and let us help.Take care.Deanne xxx

Hi @silverlining.BC did not look at my calender either the rotten sod. (2 surgeries, 6mths chemo, 6weeks rad). I was diagnosed 3days before my twin daughters 18 birthday...happy birthday girls. We also had my sons 21st in the same month, step daughters formal ,graduation and 18th and christmas. I remeber thinking wow, how am I going to get all this organised and look happy doing it. They were all such big events in the kids lives. It all got done, all went well and we had a fantastic time at every event. I just banned BC from the conversations and from my head from any special event. Actually, I am glad I was so busy it gave me some very good distractions from the rest of it.I made a video 2 days before I finished radiation from all the good times that happened along the way. Sometimes the silver lining is just getting through the day because each day that passes brings you closer to the finish line.. Some days are crap and sad and teary and some days you feel ready to take it head on. Having this forum to come to and let the frustrations, sadness, goodtimes and milestones out is invaluable. Every one here gets it. You will look back at the end of the year and go "Geez where did that year go?"Big hugs xoxoxo

Not just BC | BCNA Online Network

21 Replies

Brenda5
Member
8 years ago
You get through it step by step. Break it all down to smaller goals, otherwise it will overwhelm you. Get through that first chemo is one goal. During chemo I ended up reducing my goals to 'per day'. If I could get through that day I was happy. Worry about tomorrow when it IS tomorrow. Don't worry about all the other treatments until you come to them. Get some achievement under your belt like "I survived all the tests pre treatment.' That in itself is something of an achievement and then you are on your way to beating breast cancer. <3
primek
Member
8 years ago
It's all so hard at the beginning. It's overwhelming. It's fine to cry, have a down day and just feel sorry for you. It's normal. And you will regroup and carry on. You are stronger than you believe. Try not to look too far ahead. Just look at this week. Or just tomorrow. One day at a time. Being in touch with services will help provide you with valuable support for your son if you need it. We are here for you. Kath x
June1952
Member
8 years ago
Apology accepted (LOL)
Sometimes computers rule our lives more than we like.
onemargie
Member
8 years ago
Shit sorry I mixed up who said what in my post! I just pressed the @ and then s and thought I scrolled through to the right name but didn’t !!!! Bloody brain fart .... again lol let’s see if I can get it right this time so sorry @Summerhill38 and @Sunshine0206!!! Margie xx
Anonymous
8 years ago
The user and all related content has been deleted.
Silverlining
Member
8 years ago
Thanks for all your posts. I’m so glad that I reached out to you all. I’ve made contact with a local BC support group today and finally pulled out the information the hospital social worker gave me regarding counselling. Just needed the moral support and encouragement to do it. Thanks for helping me rediscover some silver linings
Silverlining
Member
8 years ago
Ooops! Hit post by mistake- not much sleep last night
Silverlining
Member
8 years ago
Thank you all so much.
SoldierCrab
Member
8 years ago

Our roller coaster ride from hell as I call it can be so very hard alone without adding our own challenges in life.
Talk to your sons DE teachers as to speak with their social worker/counsellor and get some supports in place for him at this time.
kezmusc
Member
8 years ago
Hi @silverlining.

BC did not look at my calender either the rotten sod. (2 surgeries, 6mths chemo, 6weeks rad). I was diagnosed 3days before my twin daughters 18 birthday...happy birthday girls. We also had my sons 21st in the same month, step daughters formal ,graduation and 18th and christmas. I remeber thinking wow, how am I going to get all this organised and look happy doing it. They were all such big events in the kids lives.

It all got done, all went well and we had a fantastic time at every event. I just banned BC from the conversations and from my head from any special event. Actually, I am glad I was so busy it gave me some very good distractions from the rest of it.
I made a video 2 days before I finished radiation from all the good times that happened along the way.

Sometimes the silver lining is just getting through the day because each day that passes brings you closer to the finish line.. Some days are crap and sad and teary and some days you feel ready to take it head on. Having this forum to come to and let the frustrations, sadness, goodtimes and milestones out is invaluable. Every one here gets it.

You will look back at the end of the year and go "Geez where did that year go?"

Big hugs xoxoxo