Hello hi.

DearBDearB Member Posts: 129
edited February 3 in Social Groups
Hi I think I have joined this group I actually find this website a confusing sometimes. I am 44 ( for a few more days) diagnosed last may with early breast cancer. Lumpectomynthen radiation now on tamoxifen.  Getting hot flushes and killer periods so thanks for that.   Also just diagnosed with Graves' disease that I have started more tablets.  
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  • Molly001Molly001 Member Posts: 416
    Hi @DearB have seen some of your posts on the main forum. Welcome! I've just turned 40. Large multifocal IDC, no nodes but involved margins and vascular invasion. ER + PR+ HER2- Right mastectomy, TAC chemo, 6wks Radiotherapy, Tamoxifen, Palbociclib on a clinical trial. Sometimes I love posting and responding and will do so heaps. Othertimes I withdraw into my own self-pity. No one here takes it personally. Ask away, vent, just babble. Many here to read and respond
  • SpillsySpillsy Hobart Member Posts: 72

    Hi there, just turned 45...... kids 13 and 10, so just getting me time back and get BC instead!!!! Thankyou Cancer!! Having chemo first, to shrink the blasted thing..... had one AC, feeling nervous going back for my 2nd shot this Thursday........have felt rather good for the last 10 days or so, but am dreading going into a slump after round 2! The people on here are most supportive and have so much knowledge, and its okay to vent, as they just get it,  others without the big C, have no idea....and some people just look at me so earnestly......... I am determined to enjoy every second I feel good...... to counteract those dark days!!!!

  • DearBDearB Member Posts: 129
    Thanks @Molly001 and @spillsy.  Last weekend was a bit shit I dropped in at a friends and instead of tea I had a wine then we let’s makr this a great night so I messaged my husband and she messaged some friends and they came over only my husband didn’t he doesn’t like this friend there’s a lot of history anyway the next day he was shitty at me because I got home about midnight after messaging at 6 hey Home soon.  I was like that’s fine but I was messaging you saying how much longer where are you blah blah blah. He went for a drive and I went for a walk and when he got home he was like I get it your sick but you can’t do that.   Do what mate?  Then later he said I don’t mind if you catch up with her just don’t invite me.   Ok bro.   Anyway that night I turned to him and said you know why I caught up with her because I can say to her I actually feel like I might die. And I can’t say that to my husband or my girls but I could say it to my friend and she just listened and pretty much didn’t say anything. She just listened.  I think bc was hard enough and now graves that I am still getting my head around it’s like what the actual duck.  Anyway. It was good to get it out there and of course husband said your not going to die.  
  • DearBDearB Member Posts: 129
    I have joined a few extra Facebook groups and signed up to the Sunbury support group and have my first mental nurse catch up on feb the first so I think I will be okay.    My mum was sick for so long with different things as well as bi polar I was like for sure I am going to end up like that now and this tablet affects your kidneys and this one affects your liver and take this one that will effect your heat and before last may the only time I went to the drs was when we travelled over seas to get a flu shot and or to get birth control updates.     And now I am a frequent flyer at our gp. And I love him and he is very supportive and very generous with his time for me a lot of our appointments turn out longer then they should but he never rushes me I would kiss him if that was a suitable thing.       It’s such a roller coaster ride.  Crazy crazy crazy 
  • Molly001Molly001 Member Posts: 416
    @DearB relationships are hard at the best of times, and bc is certainly far from that. My relationship with my kids dad was shit before bc and has completely broken down now. Even at my most vulnerable and needy (and I don't like being either of these things) his needs were repeatedly put before mine. There's more to my story, but most of the time relationships are worth fighting for. Bc certainly has a way of highlighting the good and the bad in your life. Remember your husband's world is also consumed by your diagnosis and he is scared and hurting too. Yes, your needs should come first right now, but his shouldn't be ignored. Would your husband benefit from speaking to a counsellor too? Having said that, you have a right to freedom, to come and go and see who you want. Sounds like your husband is upset because you took some time off from bc and he didn't. Jealousy is ugly huh! Perhaps he needs a boys night out where he can talk to mates candidly about his fears? I'm sure you'll work it out.
  • DearBDearB Member Posts: 129
    @Molly001. He goes bike riding with mates every weekend and I have never said don’t do that I love that he has that break from everything we had a pretty shit few years with our youngest. We will get through this is just stupid things like yesterday I was rushing off and he said my cats behind yours can you go find your spare key. Instead I moved his car got mine out then out his back Instagram of finding his spare key calling him a dickhead the whole time I told my hairdresser and messaged sorry that I called you a dickhrad.   (I hadn’t actually said that to him). He has some issues himself I said I just need calm now not anxiety all around me.  I might see if he wants to see someone too I think men just try to be all strong and tough but yeah this affects everyone !!!!!  Thanks for your words of wisdom and sorry you didn’t have that support I can’t imagine this without my family. 
  • DearBDearB Member Posts: 129
    I should spell check. Not sure how Instagram popped in there.    
  • Molly001Molly001 Member Posts: 416
    No probs @DearB sometimes we feel better just getting things off our chest
  • ShorelleShorelle Member Posts: 80
    Im 44 diagnosed last May too. My struggles of thinking Im going to die are constant and its driving me insane. 3 girls 6, 7 and 9 who need me because my husband who drinks and smokes who 2 weeks ago had a massive heart attack and went into cardiac arrest 3 times who is still drinking and smoking is a fickhead too. I never drank alcohol before BC but now have had a few nights with friends wondering why the hell not given that my previous healthy lifestyle didnt work in my favour. Its hard, my once grunded, stable, motivated life now in a state of hot flushes, crappy hair style, moody mummy with anxiety issues is not fun. Not to mention this inability to sleep. About to go in for these expanders to come out and implants in op on friday so worried about that too. 
    So I hear you....and all your fears.
  • Giovanna_BCNAGiovanna_BCNA Administrator, Staff, Member, Moderator Posts: 439
    Hi @Shorelle
    I will send you a private message
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