Stress do you think it was a factor in getting BC?

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Kombigirl
Kombigirl Member Posts: 47 ✭
in General discussion
I had borderline ovarian cancer 15 years ago after nearly 20 months of the worst stress of my life.
I separated from my husband and had 2 children to raise as a single Mum,
consequently I also lost our mutual friends as I didn't want to see him in social situations.
My job that I loved
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  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502 ✭
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    @Kombigirl I think your post cut half of it off?? 

    I think Stress is most likely one of the most common themes when you talk to most of us. I feel it was a massive part of what happened with me than anything else. I lost my Mum suddenly 8 years ago, a year later I lost my marriage too. I had to start again with my 2 children who were 11 and 13 at the time. Having to move home as my home was sold, work full time and raise them as well, certainly wasn't easy, 6 months out on my own I got my 1st diagnosis...hmmm. 4yrs after that I had a recurrence and the only common thing that remained was life had been stressful, with not much support at all. So what I learnt for me was to put work 2nd, I stopped killing myself trying to be Wonder Woman, working full time, raising my 2 beautiful children. Now that they are older, I put me first when I can. I nurture me more than I ever had before and acknowledge who I am. I dont do extravagant things, I just enjoy quiet things that soothe my soul. Peace for me when I need it. My kids are my world and Im still super Mum to them but I have more of a balance where I nurture me now.

    Hugs Melinda xo
  • Kombigirl
    Kombigirl Member Posts: 47 ✭
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    Me too Melinda, my post got cut off before, but to add to my post. I lost my job that I loved due to the owners selling after 30 years. I lost friends that I thought were real. I struggled with a lot of emotions and kept trying to be Miss perfect for way too long.
    Until my Ovarian cancer diagnosis. A lot has changed since then that was 15 years ago.
    But once again I find myself in a position of way too many stresses in a reasonably short period of time.  And Lord and behold now I have Breast Cancer.
    I can't help but feel stress has been my major contributor once again.
    This time it's purely emotional and health wise and not so much financial and security based as earlier.
    But nevertheless the emotional situations throughout the last year or so have (particularly relating to family relationships) really once again, taken its toll on me.
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502 ✭
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    Yes I agree, my lack of support wasnt financial as I had a settlement, little did I know that settlement was going to dwindle away having to support us all due to 2 diagnosis within 4yrs. I lost alot of friends too, but gee Ive gained some great ones since!!! The forum is awesome! so incredibly giving and supportive here as we just get it! 

    Be kind to you x 
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,372 ✭
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    I had been hauled backwards through the whole local government restructuring process and was made redundant after 15 years the job. Which I also loved. My recurrence was diagnosed 6 weeks later, even though I had been banging away about being unhappy about a spot in my armpit for 4 years.

    My original diagnosis (ten years earlier)  came after a similar protracted investigation process; in the end I had a relationship breakdown and the resultant weight loss that made the lump/not lump thing more obvious. Lobular BC is an absolute bitch when it comes to hiding from scans.

    It may be stress. Thing is, I think the need to blame something can be seriously counterproductive. Once cancer is your new nasty neighbour it doesn't help to try and figure out how you could have stopped it moving in. You're stuck with either living with them, legislating them out, moving out or planting a serious garden. Attacking the real estate agent won't help.

    MMM, mixed metaphors, much? Margxx

  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392 ✭
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    I wondered if my horridly stressed few years that left me with mental exhaustion caused my bc. 

    However I'll  never know.

    What I do know is now I am looking after myself...mind and body...and try to put myself first.  Breast cancer has taught me that.

    I can't change what's happened.  I'm focussing on how I respond to stress now and in the future. 
  • Jenny66
    Jenny66 Member Posts: 34 ✭
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    Stress can cause heaps of problems, so maybe, but stress can come in many forms, my surgeon gave me a lecture as I waited till I was 51 to have my first mammogram instead of doing it when I was 50, but he didn't factor in my life that I nearly lost my mum to cancer and was helping to look after her that year, the kids dad had a heart attack and reacted to the drugs and went into a coma for a month and my health was put on the back burner as I didn't have time for me, but I guess that's life and my mum is still alive and so is the kids dad
  • lgray3911
    lgray3911 Member Posts: 207 ✭
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    My husband survived a helicopter crash 10months before my diagnosis and my baby was in and out of hospital for a month over Christmas with suspected pneumonia  and we went through hell for months The most stress I have ever been. I had  a 3yr old and a 6mth old at the time and our good friend who was the pilot died in the crash.  Was that stress something that contributed to my diagnosis who knows?!?
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502 ✭
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    primek said:

    I wondered if my horridly stressed few years that left me with mental exhaustion caused my bc. 

    However I'll  never know.

    What I do know is now I am looking after myself...mind and body...and try to put myself first.  Breast cancer has taught me that.

    I can't change what's happened.  I'm focussing on how I respond to stress now and in the future. 

  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502 ✭
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    @Primek I agree with you totally, I also agree with @Zoffiel that it serves no purpose to look at food, diet, exercise or anything else that may have caused this. 

    For me what I do know are the things that were happening in my life at both times were very very stressful, so what BC has done since then has helped me stop putting me last instead I'm first and nurturing so much more. ..Something I'd never done because circumstances had it that I had to be Superwoman for my kids, and my siblings and Dad...there was no room for me in all those years. So when I say be kind to you...for me its very different these days. I sort of imagine being wrapped up by my Mum like when I was little if she were here, but I do it for myself sometimes. 

    This has been the most pivotal in all of it, absolutely nothing else...have that wine, cake, chocolate whatever it is...enjoy!!! 

    xx M
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552 ✭
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    @Kombigirl

    I think most of us can relate and say leading into a diagnosis life was extremely stressful!  I firmly believe the stresses of life were a contributor to my diagnosis.  Is it the reason for It?  That is like a $64 question; who knows but, however, I firmly believe, as I said before, it was a contributing factor.  Now, if stress starts to creep in it gets knocked well and truly on the head! 
    BC diagnosis teaches us lots of things, a heightened awareness of our bodies so hence every creak, ache, twinge we are concerned about and concerned it is a recurrence et cetera and an awareness of our own well being, the company we like to keep or not keep.  I had a good friend, or at least I thought she was a good friend, of 40 years that I lost in this process but it turned out it was no real loss, I just don't need that kind of friendship! 
    Your well being awareness teaches, as @melclarity said earlier, "...So what I learnt for me was to put work 2nd, I stopped killing myself trying to be Wonder Woman, working full time, raising my 2 beautiful children........I put me first when I can. I nurture me more than I ever had before and acknowledge who I am...."
    Take care x


  • Brenda5
    Brenda5 Member Posts: 2,423 ✭
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    In one word, yes.
  • HIT
    HIT Member Posts: 261 ✭
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    I'll second that Brenda, yes, yes.
  • onemargie
    onemargie Member Posts: 1,264 ✭
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    For sure! We had just spent 6 months prior to my bc disgnosis driving back and forth to the Gold Coast and south side brissy as my husbands brother had had a quad bike accident in oct 2015 no helmet, had been drinking slammed his head into a tree which left him with a traumatic brain injury. He got out of hospital April last year then I was diagnosed in may last year . And I actually postponed my annual mammogram which was due in January last year (I had really lumpy cysty breasts hence the yearly checks) due to trying to work and all the driving to see him. It was really really stressful and had I done that mammogram in Jan who knows maybe my diagnosis and treatment could of been different. And was the stress a factor.... I certainly believe it could of been for sure. As I had no family history either. Anyway these days I stress still but not as much and I deal with it a lot differently too.... Margie xx
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552 ✭
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    @wendy55 well you certainly have been through the mill! 
    Your post suggests you have never lost your sense of well being and have managed to combat some of the biggest stresses of all.  As to dignity well that's a little different, as we have to flash our chest, spread our legs, all in the cause of our health!  Oh goodness my last trip to the Gynaecology Oncologist I was on the table in the nud (bottom half) trying to negotiate my way out of my examination..............didn't work but he was extremely gentle with me.  It's the pride and dignity that takes a real knock in our circumstances, doesn't it!
    Pleased to read in your post that you say "everyday is a gift to me"..............wonderful!
    Take care, sending you a virtual hug xx

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