New to this
I am booked for surgery on 31st for a lumpectomy + and have had calls from my two sisters who are nurses telling me I should be having a mastectomy instead. My surgeon went over everything carefully with me and told me all the pros and cons and I decided to go with the lumpectomy. She then said after I had considered all she told me and made my own decision that if it was her she would have chosen the same way. She did not influence my decision either way just laid out the facts but now my sisters have made me question my decision. I would like some feed back from some who have had a lumpectomy if you woukd like to talk to me. I am feeling down for the first time since my diagnoses and I am not happy woth my sisters at the moment.
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Hi. I haven't had a lumpectomy but just wanted to say that this is your decision not your sisters. If the surgeon thought you needed a mastectomy they would have told you so. I doubt that they would have suggested a lumpectomy in the first place if it wasn't appropriate.
I'm sure your sisters just want to be supportive but that doesn't mean they are right even if they are nurses.
Discuss again with your surgeon and make YOUR decision.
Good luck x
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Hi Kester
Sorry you are feeling down. Hope you are feeling happier soon.
Sounds like you've made your own decision about surgery - which is a hugely positive step forwards! Like you, I weighed up the pros and cons of my surgery choices.Some choices were scarier than others! but I carefully considered them all, including the potential risks and consequences.
We are all different - and unique! Other people may have different opinions, based on their own knowledge, experience and needs - but they are not you.
If their 'advice' isn't helpful, let it go - destress! Just politely agree to disagree with them - and encourage them, in your own way, to accept, and respect, your decision.
Once I'd made my surgery decision, with support from my medical team, I had a clearer focus on me - with a future! I learnt to listen to my needs more closely and to be kinder to myself, especially post surgery - which, I'm sure, nurtured my resilience.
So keep taking good care of yourself.
All the best for your surgery - and beyond!
Cheers
Di
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I would go with the lumpectomy as your surgeon recommends. They aim for a one centimetre area clear of cancer/dubious cells margin around what they take. If they don't get that in the pathology results, your surgeon will go back in and take a bit more on the dubious edge, again aiming for the clear one centimetre margin. That happened with me with cancer cells near one edge the first time, and again there were dubious cells one and a half millimetres from the edge the second time, so at that stage the surgeon recommended a mastectomy, which I had. All of this took place within five weeks. I just was unlucky that the surgeon didn't get it all the first time, but pathology on what was removed picked up what the human eye couldn't see both times. If you are really torn about what to do, either ask another surgeon for a second opinion, or have an in-depth discussion with your sisters, and then take the points that they raise to your surgeon for discussion.
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Hello - trust you are well considering where you are at and getting your head around treatment options from your surgeon.
Families gotta love them! They mean well but goodness this is now about you and what you and your medical team are comfortable as the best option for you, not what they think they would like you to have.
For me personally it was mastectomy, due to size of tumour, placement of tumour and clear margins.
For you it is about lumpectomy. A decision that was arrived at after careful consideration.
Need to keep the negativity out of your mind so that you can be ready for the 31st in a positive frame of mind.
Just nod and smile and give them a hug and let them know you are in the best of hands.
You said in your post you were feeling down, I hope that is only for a short time. Remember you have us here who are either in the middle of it or on the tail end of treatment to support, to read your posts and send you a virtual hug!
Take care
Christine xx
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Hi Kester
I had lumpectomy on 14th April.
The doctor would not suggest it if the he/she did not think a it was a good idea.
My scar is quite good. My overall boob size is not too different, and i feel better in myself.
The decision is yours!
Keep intouch with us all on this network it is amazing the support and feedback you will receive.
Vx
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I had a lumpectomy at the surgeon's suggestion. I am glad I did. I had an overnight stay in hospital and healed well. Yes I have scars but they will fade in time. Yes I have questioned my decision on occasion, but honestly, no surgeon is going to recommend a lumpectomy if it is not a good solution. It does make getting dressed and being naked easier. The life expectancy is the same. Yes you have to have radiation as well as chemo. However some women who had a mastectomy also have to have radiation. There are downsides to mastectomy for women who play sport etc. I think it's best to take the advice of highly trained smart experts like surgeons than very kind well meaning friends and family who simply don't know as much. And it will drive you mad trying to work out if what you decided was right. Good luck through this difficult journey, may it go well for you. Karen
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Thank you all so much. I am feeling happier about my decision already. I'm going to beat this sucker.
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Hi Kester,
Sorry you have found yourself here. It's such a scary unknown we are all facing and families can be such a help ... or a hindrance ... I know.
I was advised to have a lumpectomy, managed to dodge the chemo bullet and am about to undergo radiation therapy. My sister who is also in the health industry keeps telling me I should look for alternatives, rather than bombard my body with radiation and I have to admit, at times she almost had me convinced. But I chose to listen to my surgeon, my 2 oncologists, my GP and breast care nurse and eventually made up my own mind. I have been told that a lumpectomy followed up with radiation therapy gives you the same outcome as a mastectomy.
I love my sister and I know she loves me but I have had to tell her that I have done my own research, spoken to the experts in the field and have reached my own conclusion. She kept at it like a dog with a bone there for a while, but has finally backed off and is still very loving and supportive.
So, make up your own mind, with the information you have and thank your sisters for their advice and support.
Let us know how you get on, both with surgery and your sisters.
Take care,
San-Dee
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Hi kester
I had a lumpectomy at the end last year.
It healed amazingly well & 5 months down the track I feel great.
A little lumpy in places, but no one would ever know.
They try to do lumpectomies over mastectomies if they can.
no, they didn't get clear margins, but said that a mastectomy wouldn't have made a difference because the second tumour was so close to my chest wall. I think we all assume that mastectomy solves all the problems. It wouldn't have made a difference to me.
Chemo wouldn't have helped my particular cancer, so concentrated radiation & just about to start tamoxifen.
The skill, care & resources I have been lucky enough to experience are remarkable. Be guided by the experts who deal with these situations every day .
best of luck
?? ????
Xxxxxx
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Hi Kester, I had a lumpectomy March 21st, it's healing up really well. The surgeon recommended this instead of mastectomy, I would have done whatever she recommended! I was told before surgery that I would definitely need radiation but they wanted to refer my case to the oncology team to discuss if chemo would be beneficial. Chemo is the one procedure I really wanted to avoid, but when the oncology team suggested it was needed due to a high Ki index, I went with it.
Personally I put a lot of faith in the opinion of professionals, though sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. If I were you I'd ask my sisters WHY they think I should have a mastectomy. Unless they have a valid, intelligent reason that raises doubts in your mind, I'd just go with the advice of my doctor. If you think they have valid points perhaps discuss them with your doctor. At least that way you've covered all your bases. Families can be so weird at times of crisis, eh? I'm sure your sisters mean well but if they're just blowing off steam with the mastectomy stuff you really don't need that.
Best of luck with your surgery!!
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Your surgeon will do the lumpectomy and try and get clear margins, if unfortunately they can't they may then suggest mastectomy. We put our lives in their hands and I think are best guided by them wishing you all the best adean xxx
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Got to 'love' the well meaning advice...
I had the same dillema as you 2 months ago. Surgeons reccomended lumpectomy and I kept on thinking 'get rid of the whole thing'. I kept on doubting myself and thendecision and at times even regretted it.
Having said that - once all the emotions have settled and I have spoken to a few more specialists I know I have done the right thing. The more serious the surgery the more serious sideeffects and risks so that got me to realise that in the end, for me and my civircumstances, I had made the correct decision.
They do the surgery right and make sure they get a clear margin which means cancer is removed. Relevant node(s) are also taken out which helps determine the course of treatment. If long term prognosis is the same then why choose the harder path.
Just trust yourself, listen to the doctors and everyone else who is educated in this area and then do what makes you feel comfortable. You are the one that needs to have a peace of mind that you are doing the right thing fir you long term (keeping long term healing in mind as well) so do not allow other even if well meaning advice sway your judgement.
Wishing you all the best
Jel.
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Hi Kester, I had a lumpectomy four years ago (followed by chemo, radiation & tamoxifen) and I'm so glad that I did. The affected boob is slightly smaller than the other, I have a couple of small, faded scares and a slight indentation. But at a casual glance you wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. I've had no recurrence and I am fit and healthy.
I was offered the choice of having a mastectomy but my surgeon said that in my case it would not make any difference to the chances of a recurrence.
When I asked why she would even present that option if it made no difference she said it "gave some women more peace of mind". But frankly that make no sense to me. If it makes no difference to the outcome how can it give you more peace of mind? It makes me wonder how many women out there are getting their boobs lopped off unnecessarily.
So it seemed like a no-brainer to me. Having your breast cut off is brutal. I know it's unavoidable in many cases and I certainly would have had it done if it had of been necessary but if not, can't understand why you would do it? Having a mastectomy is no guarantee that a secondary cancer won't pop up somewhere else. Not that I am wishing that on anybody. But it happens.
With respect to your sisters they are not oncologists or breast surgeons and it is not their breast. I'm sure they mean well but I would stick to the advice of your doctors. Best of luck with you surgery and treatment.
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Hi Kester,
Good for you for backing your decision, that's why I love this network the honest responses are what gives you unbiased answers and you can judge your decision on merit.
I too had a lumpectomy April 2015 4 rounds of chemo & 6 weeks of radiation. Had my yearly check-up with my surgeon and all results were good news.
Only thing I have to worry about is keeping up the massage on left breast so I don't get a fluid build up, and using QV cream to keep it moisturised.
All the best for your treatment please keep us updated on how you are travelling.
Annie
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Hi Kester
OMG I feel your frustration. I had my cousin who is a renowned Breast cancer surgeon (in another state) tell me after my surgery a wide local excision or lumpectomy where my surgeon had clear margins, that if I was her patient she would of done a mastectomy. Talk about send my world spinning. I was so depressed for about a week and asked everyone who would listen if I had made a mistake as mine was invasive grade 3. In the end I trust in my surgeon who would not of done a WLE if he didn't think it was the right thing to do.
Remember every woman is different, some want to just remove their breast and get rid of the cancer that way, where as my preference was to try to keep my breast.
So 3 months after my surgery and two weeks post radiation I am doing great. I might take up a trial drug as I have a high likelihood of a secondary cancer, but trust in your doctors and what feels right. No one should judge until they are in the same situation, we all know it's not easy.
All the best for the 31st xxxx
Maree
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