overdue intro :)
*I have posted this in the introduce yourself post but thought I'd make it my first blog post so copying it here*
Hi, my name is Karen, I'm a 44 yr old mum of 2 kids 14 & 9 and after nearly 18 years together my man and I are engaged to be married this year, just waiting on confirmation of venue for the date.
My life completely changed just over 12 months ago. April 15 2014 I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer but thrown sideways to find out it was Secondary. I had a aggressive tumour which had spread to lymph nodes, spine, pelvis & lung. To say I was devastated was an understatement. I was shattered, angry, numb, I felt I was outside looking in at myself. The realisation of what Secondary Breast Cancer meant took a while to sink in, unfortunately my treatment doesn't have an end date, it is continual for the rest of my life. That is very very hard to accept and comprehend. I felt cheated, I felt anger that my kids now have to grow up with all of this, they don't deserve this. I hated that I put them in this position. Every 3 weeks I would be going in for my treatment, quarterly scans, endless blood tests, oncology appts, quarterly heart scans and that's just the start. If this current treatment doesn't stabilise then it changes and starts all over again, how on earth can I do this...
Well, as I mentioned its been just over 12 months. I still hate it I mean who wouldn't, but, I am here, I/our family have accepted our 'new' life and all that brings. We find joy in the little things, let go and move on of insignificant things, we treasure each other so damn much more than ever before, we have learnt patience, gratitude and just know that we will be ok. Every day is a gift and no day is ever taken for granted. I also know that there will be many many hurdles but WE will get over them and continue in our journey. I allow myself to have my 'moments' I think you need to, things build up or get overwhelming and it's ok to let it out, it's necessary.
I am so incredibly happy and am very much looking forward to our Wedding Day 
We have been incredibly blessed beyond measure by some very very very amazing friends who have actually offered to organise our Wedding, complete with kind souls who have donated the venue, celebrant, catering, invitations, music, the list goes on. I can't express what their kindness means I'm just so humbled and appreciate it so much. Thanks for letting me waffle
Comments
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I hate it when people say 'you are so strong' because, we have no choice but to be strong and go on with life or it might consume us and swallow us whole this disease. But the word 'strong' comes to mind so clearly when I read your story and so does 'determent', 'positive', 'grateful', 'wisdom'. I am so happy for you that you seem to have an amazing partner and friends and it is very inspiring to read your story and to see that despite huge obstacles and challenges you have the determination live your life to the full. Huggles to you and may your wedding day be very special and blessed. Keep on fighting xxx
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I agree totally with NE's post you are strong because we have no choice. HUGS to you and family enjoy the things we realise are important when this F**ken cancer attacks us. focus on the great things in your life. xx
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Hi Karen,
Welcome and thank you for sharing your story with us here on the Online Network. My name is Ann-Marie and I am the Online Community Coordinator at BCNA. You can waffle all you like and we will be here to support you anyway we can.
Ann-Marie x
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Hi Karen,
Totally get where you are coming from my normal life flew out the window on the 28th May 1015. I have a mass in my chest which is sbc is has made a big home for itself in my sternum. It also has holiday homes in my spine,ribs,and lung. And so we are on the medical carousel round and round we go... I too get angry not as much now but I used to and yes its hard very hard.. I hate the new normal. It sucks.. But as you say what can we do but get up every morning and be thankful we are here. But somedays are harder than others... Sometimes I even feel selfish for being down and sad as I know there are lots of people worse off than me.. It's like we are grieving for the life we have lost whilst still trying to live that life the best we can. Crazy hey.. Its makes me sad for us that treatment will never be over. Anyway getting carried away and not helping you in any way lol... We will get there Karen we might just take the 4x4 track to get there thats all.. It's all about the trip not the destination.. Chin up we got this..
Mikayla xxx
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Hi! Thank goodness you're cancer has been detected and is being treated. Yes it sucks that the treatment is indefinite but as you're working through all this the most important thing is your family and as you say the joy in the little things.
Wishing you a wonderful wedding day! Hope you're able to post a photo for us to enjoy.
Take care, sending you a virtual hug
Christine xx
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Hi and welcome to the site. Life has changed for us all, some more than others. Everyday I get up is a blessing,
Your wedding day is going to be amazing because it will be filled with love.Take care xx
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Thank you for sharing your story. I'm lost for words at your courage. Life deals us some mean events but you have so much ahead of you with the wedding, 2 gorgeous children to watch grow and some wonderful friends.
Take care are you are in my thoughts.
Anne-Marie??
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Hi Karen,
You have put into words how I feel too. I was diagnosed with sbc over a month ago in my liver and chest. Today I was told it was also in my spine. I am angry and very emotional. But I have to keep living life to the fullest as I have a wonderful husband and two children that need their mum.
Have a great wedding day. Sending you lots of hugs.
Ange Xxx
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Gee that's a lot put on you at only 44. We all figure we'll be joining the tests and Drs carousel at maybe 64 as older patient check ups but you have started early it seems. Hey, at least its diagnosed and not a ticking time bomb and you must be pleased about that part.
Your kids will grow up not taking anything for granted too which soon into their rebellious teens might be a good thing for them and keep them stable and safe into adulthood.
Your soon to be official hubby sounds like a keeper. Get tons of pics on the day and share with us. Who doesn't love a wedding? XXXX
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