New to this
I recently discovered a lump and within 10 days had surgery to remove, yesterday I went back to the surgeon and was resigned to the fact that I may need radio therapy I am now told that it was a moderate grade 3 cancer so I need to do Chemo as well. My appointment is not for another 8 days and I am on such a roller coaster about all of this and really not to sure what to expect. It still does not feel real and whilst I am trying to look at this as though the cancer has gone and the treatment is to ensure it doesnt return the people around me are bringing me down constantly wanting to talk about it or showing their tears. How does one cope and what am I to expect from the Chemo will I be able to continue working as this keeps me busy and my mind from wondering?
Appreciate any advice.
Fiona
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Hi Fiona - boy it is a big shock hey. And this site is fantastic. Order a my journey kit, it is very good. Make a dentist appointment, mouth health is important during chemo. A lot of people continue working throughout with minimal time off and I agree it is way better than sitting home worrying. Have a trusted person with you on the oncology visit, so much info in such a short period - two brains can even find it hard. Friends and loved ones are in shock too, maybe get them to clean something in the house while they are commiserating hey. Chemo is not nice, but it is not as bad as you might think.
Also be prepared to meet a lot of very caring happy people, nurses (they are fantastic), patients, Doctors. It is not all bad.
Keep well Pam
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Thanks Pam appreciate this yes it is all so very daunting and this site does seem fantastic for support. Have a journey kit already and so much information to take in. I know it is not all that bad and there is a reason for it just a big shock to the system for someone that has never been ill in the past.Fiona
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Hi Fiona,
Welcome to the Network I was diagnosed officially on the 21st May with Early Stage bc and I got told Lumpectomy and 6 weeks Radiotherapy which to me at the time was enough to deal with they didn't know what grade my cancer was at that time, I had a lumpectomy and a sentinal node biopsy on the 24th of June, and I too thought that was it when I got my results on the 9th of july things were a bit more complex than I first thought, I too was told I would have to have a 2nd surgery to remove the lymph nodes in my armpit as there was cancer in my lymph node they removed but that came all clear. I started Chemo on the 24th of August the worst is allways the waiting between appointments but whenever your feeling down you come on here even if you feel like it's so overwhelming and confusing and the support is amazing I don't know how I'd have gotten this far without the ladies and support they will give you, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE remember that, the most important thing is you need a support network around you family and friends you need to look after yourself and you need all the support you can get, the most important thing I have found is people need to give you a shoulder to cry on and asking you how you feel doesn't help much as they also don't know how to cope, the best thing you can order from this website if you don't allready have it is the My Journey Kit and It's Free and I don't know what I would do without it and allways take someone with you to all your appointments as it's so overwhelming and your emotions are all over the place at the moment, I've found one of the best people to be in contact with is a Breast Care Nurse I don't know what I'd do without mine they are also there if you want to talk, you hang in there and keep on the network we all look after each other and help each other sending you a big cuddle and a smile and lots of Positive Vibes.
Anitaxxx
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Thanks Anita,
Already I can see that is a great website and I have to remind myself that Chemo will be given as a PREVENTATIVE to ensure that the cancer does NOT reoccur but again so many mixed emotions and just so terribly daunting and you are right the wait now for the next appointment to start the chemo plays on my mind. Will be sure to keep on this site and have the Journey Kit which I am now starting to read and try and digest. Thanks again appreciate it Fiona
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Hi Fiona,
It still gets very overwhelming for me also but the more you read the my journey kit the more it will make sense emotions get very scary sometimes just keep going on this site and the support you receive will make your journey all that much easier take it easy and look after yourself sending a cuddle and a smile Anita xx????????
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Thanks again work sent me two messages today:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have
And
F.E.A.R has two meanings -
Forget everything and RUN
or
Face Everything and Rise
the Choice is yours
I will be the person that Faces everything and Rises........
Such an emotional journey
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Hi Fiona It is emotional and a shock and I some times think am I taking this too calmly, should I be panicking but as that seems a pointless exercise I try to keep my mind busy. I saw my oncologist yesterday and have a date to start 3 months chemo and herceptin and will have that for the 12 months and radiotherapy after chemo. Surgery was 2 weeks ago and I'm feeling well now. Back to work next week and when chemo starts I will see how I go . Work has been very happy to be flexible and I am able to take a few sick days per week so will hopefully work when I am well and take days off if I am unwell. Will try to keep rested and eat well and exercise and will take each process I step at a time. I went to my mothers last week and 2 of my brothers were there and we sat and talked and had lunch together and apart from one "how are you feeling" question it was not mentioned. Bliss!! Your family are in shock but it is your call just redirect the conversation and say you don't really want to talk about it at the moment and stay away from people who make you feel bad. Good luck with it all
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Thanks really appreciate the feedback so good to see it is not just me and really nice to have a flexible work environment I am working from home this week and the dog is loving me for it. Let me know how you go with the Chemo I am waiting on a date for that but I now it is a positive step to prevent this reoccuring just need to remind myself on this a few times.... Fiona xxx
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Hi Fiona
you have some great advice here from others going through this. I think it also helps to take it one day at a time. It is an emotional roller coaster at the start with lots of information to process. Take some time for yourself everyday if you can. This is a series of treatments that you will get through and come out the other side of. Once you are clear about your treatment plan it will feel more in control as you will know exactly where you are going.
All the best and remember to keep posting here as we are all women diagnosed with bc and we get it!
Lisaxx
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Thanks LIsa really appreciate your comments i will get through this just such a roll a coster
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Hi Fiona. I had to set some family members straight just after my surgery. They were bringing me down, very emotional and treating me like i was sick. I was clear i wanted to be treated nornal. As far as i was concerned my cancer had been removed. If i could be strong i wanted everyone else to be also. Its important you surround yourself with positive people and keep a positive attitude. Take one step and appointment at a time and you will be so much stronger when your treatment is all over. Take good care of yourself.
Maryrose
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Thanks Maryrose, appreciate your comments and my feelings are like yours so will be strong like that when I see them on the weekend.
Fiona
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Im so sorry that you have to go through this but you are in the right place. What helped me in the beginning was to
1.stay off the internet, don't Google. Come here to bcna for support
2. Only read the sections from your my journey kit that applies to your current situation. Don't try to take it all on board in one go. You can come back to it when you face other stages of treatment.
3. Set up a facebook group page and add all family and friends to it and tell them you will use this page for updates on all your treatment and this is where they should post support messages as opposed to texting you constantly asking how you are. It gets tiring to have to text the same info over and over to concerned friends and family. This way you can write about your experience when you feel up t to it and not get bombarded on your mobile.
4. Ask a close friend to organise a meal roster for friends to cook and bring you meals for the first couple of days. This is a massive help and can all be done via the fb group page.
5. Then last, deal with today's issues today! Everything else that lies ahead needs to go on the 'virtual shelve' until you get to it , then deal with that. Emotionally you can't and don't need to cope with it all today because it is exhausting your brain and will bring you down. Having stuff on the 'shelve' puts you back in control.
All the best with the rest of your experience. Be kind to YOU.
Big hug, Rene
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I was diagnosed 4 weeks ago and I understand completely what you are going through. I can't believe everything that has happened in four weeks
I went to a surgeon first and decided to go chemo route before surgery to try and shrink the tumour. I started my first chemo one week ago.
i found initially one of the most difficult things was other people's emotions and reactions, and was very surprised at what people said to me and how many wanted to share their stories about who they knew that had since died.
It is such a shock and I think I'm still in shock and it's a real roller coaster ride.
The support on here is great and so many inspirational women to draw from
hang in there, sending you cyber hugs
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Thanks Rene,
Really like this deal with today's issues today Everything else that lies ahead needs to go on the virtual shelve and shall try and ensure this is what I do moving forward
Thanks for the comments
Then last, deal with today's issues today! Everything else that lies ahead needs to go on the 'virtual shelve' until you get to it , then deal with that. - See more at: fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpuf">https://www.bcna.org.au/online-network/members/fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpufThen last, deal with today's issues today! Everything else that lies ahead needs to go on the 'virtual shelve' until you get to it , then deal with that. - See more at: fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpuf">https://www.bcna.org.au/online-network/members/fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpufThen last, deal with today's issues today! Everything else that lies ahead needs to go on the 'virtual shelve' until you get to it , then deal with that. - See more at: fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpuf">https://www.bcna.org.au/online-network/members/fiona.hyde3@****/blog/new-to-this-1?cmt_id=c557cbfe-f612-485f-8246-2f29b3281468#sthash.L3KrBX8y.dpuf0
