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Thinking of you all

helen_anne's avatar
helen_anne
Member
12 years ago

Hi girls

I'm really sorry I couldn't be there for the Summit but as most of you know - Dad passed and I'm organising the funeral presently.

I really hope you had a great time getting together...I'm totally spewing I couldn't be there but even without this sadness my health wasn't good enough to go.

I have been to St Vincent's again about this Sweets Condition and now I'm on yet another different tablet (and taken off another), given steriod injections/cream and have to go back in two weeks to see if it's improved.

I'm literally covered in a pimply type rash that becomes blisters after a couple of days, then gets infected and bleeds...it's terrible and will look terrible for the funeral.  However the steriod cream is clearing it a bit so I should be able to wear thick tights and a dress without ppl seeing the terrible marks all over my legs atm....

Its funny you know but I haven't cried for my Dad yet....I just don't understand why.  Perhaps it's because of all the organising, or perhaps because a few weeks earlier I cried buckets loads at my god-sons funeral (the one that died in the car accident - there's only about 9 weeks between the two funerals)  I don't know but I do wonder when this will really hit me as I simply adored my dad.

I want to cry but it's just not happening....has anyone had that happen to them?

Anyway I'm going off subject here....mainly wanted to send a message to you all saying despite being so busy I have been thinking of you all and wishing I was with you.

Apparently this is a bi-annual event so I hope I will be at the next one in 2015 and I hope all of you will be too so we can finally see each other again.

Anyway must go but all the best to everyone and take care.

Luv H

Published 12 years ago
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  • helen_anne's avatar
    helen_anne
    Member
    12 years ago
    Hi Tonya. Thank you so much for your very wise and somewhat proffetic (?) words. I went really well at the funeral until I got to the last paragraph of the poem I wrote for him then I broke down and the floodgates opened! I'm glad in a way as I sas really concerned I hadn't cried. I found it particularly difficult when the pallbearers placed his casket in the hearse abd off he went. But I feel Dad would have been really proud of the work that went into his service, the beautiful photo video presentation my neice and her dad (my brother) did and the Order of Service and Book marks I designed and made in memory of Dad. We had well over 100 ppl there which was amazing as he was 84 and many have already passed on. I'm proud to say that there is talk that he may be being honoured at his Bowls Club with a special tribute later....I hope to find out soon. Again heartfelt thanks for your wise words. Luv H
  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    12 years ago

    I'm so sorry to hear you are unwell again.Gosh you have had a rough year-especially having 2 funerals close together for 2 peolpe you loved dearly. Don't worry about not crying for  your dad.The same thing happened to me when my dad died.I had to arrange his funeral and look after my mum who was falling to pieces.You have so much to organize and deal with that your emotions shut down in order to get through it.You might have your melt down when the funeral is over.I look back in amazement that I talked to an audience at my dad's funeral and didn't once shed a tear.Don't question yourself darl,just go with it.Get help later on if you still haven't grieved.

    We had a great time at the summit and drank extra,danced extra for you not being there.You were missed by our little group.Sending love and hugs, Tonya xx

  • TonyaM's avatar
    TonyaM
    Member
    12 years ago

    I'm so sorry to hear you are unwell again.Gosh you have had a rough year-especially having 2 funerals close together for 2 peolpe you loved dearly. Don't worry about not crying for  your dad.The same thing happened to me when my dad died.I had to arrange his funeral and look after my mum who was falling to pieces.You have so much to organize and deal with that your emotions shut down in order to get through it.You might have your melt down when the funeral is over.I look back in amazement that I talked to an audience at my dad's funeral and didn't once shed a tear.Don't question yourself darl,just go with it.Get help later on if you still haven't grieved.

    We had a great time at the summit and drank extra,danced extra for you not being there.You were missed by our little group.Sending love and hugs, Tonya xx

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