Accepting your New Self

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  • PamelaP
    PamelaP Member Posts: 23 ✭
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    Beautiful ladies, its so good to read all your posts, they cover the myriad of thoughts lurking in my mind that I sense are still to surface.
    Dealing with:
    Diagnosis
    Surgery
    Chemo
    No time yet for grief to surface
    xxx



  • adean
    adean Member Posts: 1,036 ✭
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    Hi gorgeous kath 5 years on and l still get pissed especialy if someone makes a comment your not the same.dickheads. l get pissed because it wasnt my choice but it choose me why did it not visit someone else. I think its ok to be pissed because you know what we seem to push on again and get through.lol so push on ha ha. Love ya adean
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392 ✭
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    Lol @adean Yep. 
  • iserbrown
    iserbrown Member Posts: 5,552 ✭
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    @primek I saw your post today and then found below what I wrote and must've put into drafts back in May, sorry I didn't respond at the time when you were hurting so much! 

    your reflection is only a fraction of who you are!  You are still you!  Grieving comes in all forms and there is no rule book on how to handle it!  Acceptance helps with grief but it doesn't resolve it.  I gather from your post you have accepted but every now and then that reflection in the mirror says, hey that's not how they used to look, what happened!  
    Your comment "...that this is it. I don't  have breasts. I have memorials built as breasts..."  Oh I can relate to that one!  They are more about making me look normal when I am dressed without the deep connection that I had with them before the amputation.
    Take care and reflect xx
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392 ✭
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    @iserbrown Yes exactly 
  • Afraser
    Afraser Member Posts: 4,373 ✭
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    Making a new you doesn't even remotely sound easy. It isn't and you are brave and honest to share your feelings  - clearly many others have experienced the same sense of loss. I can't advise about new boobs, I had no reconstruction and am happy about that. My body is fine, actually in better nick than before, apart from a bloody big scar, but I feel the same way about that as I do a few wrinkles - I've earned them. My hair changed on and on and on, then I realised that it just wasn't the same and changed my hairdo to suit. It used to be thick and strong (OK coarse!) and now it's still pretty thick but much finer. I had worn my hair much the same way for nearly 20 years, but my new style suits me better and I really like the colour I have finally landed at (much less grey). You will feel like a real you again, it just takes time to get there!! You think treatment is forever, then it's over, you wait for the resumption of normal service that doesn't come and you discover that you still have a ways to go. That saying I've seen often on this site applies - don't look back, you are not going that way. The old you was pretty spectacular, the new one will be outstanding! Take care, Alison.
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392 ✭
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    @Afraser Yes thanks. It's all about acknowledging those feelings then moving forward which I have done...well still a work in progress. 

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