Newly Diagnosed & Struggling

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Fiona 46
Fiona 46 Member Posts: 15
edited October 2016 in Newly diagnosed
Hi, I am 46 as was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma last week with a dodgy lymph node biopsied today. It's been quite overwhelming at times, surgery later this week and my journey will begin. Unfortunately cancer is not a new journey to my family, my son was diagnosed with brain cancer less than three years ago at age 9. He is going well but still requires regular hospital trips and care himself & quite honestly I don't know how to cope with everything. My focus has always been on helping his journey. I'm not sure really what I'm asking here, it would be great to hear from anyone who's had any sort of similar experience or strategies to help me get through this, be there for my son, maintain some semblance of work & of course be there for my other son & a very supportive husband for which I am very thankful.
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  • Frangipani 19
    Frangipani 19 Member Posts: 4
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Fiona,
    It's hard to take in isn't it. So many thoughts all at once..I also had ductal (and lobular) invasive with surgery ( lumpectomy) and am in radiation treatment now. 3 months on since diagnosis and this is what I can suggest:

    1. Allow yourself to have a weep when you need to...
    2. When feeling overwhelmed, try to just focus on breath for even a few minutes when your mind starts running amok. It will help calm you.
    3. Do yoga nidra... It's a guided relaxation and teaches you how to watch your breath and body. Find a great yoga teacher who you like or buy a recommended CD ( "big shakti"has a great yoga nidra CD and website..)
    4. App by Andrew Johnson called : Visualize healing. It's self hypnosis/ relaxation. He has others. This app was recommended to me by another friend with breast ca and I have shared with others who also highly rate it.

    Heartfelt thoughts
  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Fiona,

    We will be here to support you when things are closing in and you need to let it out - sending you a big cyber hug for what you are going through.  Try to take everything one day at a time and not look too far ahead - we have all learned that taking one step at a time makes this journey more manageable.  So good that you have a loving and supportive family, and I do hope that your son continues to do well.  You will get through this. We find the strength from somewhere to do what we need to do, and so will you.  In 2012 I had a double mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, and a hysterectomy, and now 2 years later I feel strong again and able to live my new normal with energy and strength again. Do let us know how you are going and all the very best for your node biopsy.  Remember, one step at a time.  Things are going to get very busy, so buy a good notebook for listing appointments. symptoms, questions - it will start to fill up quickly.  Thinking of you and sending lots of support.   Michelle xxxx

  • Michelle_R
    Michelle_R Member Posts: 901 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Hi Fiona,

    We will be here to support you when things are closing in and you need to let it out - sending you a big cyber hug for what you are going through.  Try to take everything one day at a time and not look too far ahead - we have all learned that taking one step at a time makes this journey more manageable.  So good that you have a loving and supportive family, and I do hope that your son continues to do well.  You will get through this. We find the strength from somewhere to do what we need to do, and so will you.  In 2012 I had a double mastectomy, chemo, radiotherapy, and a hysterectomy, and now 2 years later I feel strong again and able to live my new normal with energy and strength again. Do let us know how you are going and all the very best for your node biopsy.  Remember, one step at a time.  Things are going to get very busy, so buy a good notebook for listing appointments. symptoms, questions - it will start to fill up quickly.  Thinking of you and sending lots of support.   Michelle xxxx

  • Robyn W
    Robyn W Member Posts: 1,932 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    Welcome to the online network,the most fantastic place for help and support:) I am sorry to hear of your little boy and his illness,and now you.But do,you know what? You are going to be just fine.Breast cancer is very treatable these days:) I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma,last September.I had a mastectomy( which was way easier than I anticipated) followed by chemo,and now I take Tamoxifen.Looking back,I now realise that it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.I am a foster carer,and right through my treatment,our 3 boys hardly realised that anything was going on!!If I hadn't of lost my hair,I think that lots of people wouldn't have known,and I put this down to the drugs that they use these days as opposed to the ones that they had perhaps 10 or 15 years ago.I am not trying to trivialise BC and it's treatment,but as some ladies on here say,after they start treatment,"it was a bit of a non event"! Prepare for the worst and expect the best.If you have chemo,this blog is the best place for all the advice that you will need as in what to expect,and how to get ready for it.My best advice for you at the moment,would be,try hard not to panic and start to look ahead,when you really don't know yet what IS ahead.I was absolutely scared witless when told I had BC,and sure there were days through treatment when I was really fatigued,and I needed to rest more,but the actual side effects that I got were all very manageable with medication.For instance,feeling nauseous,mouth ulcers,feeling tired,itchy skin,aches and pains!So try to take it one day at a time,anew if you need to fall in a heap,then do it! A good cry is very helpful,then you get on with it until the next one.Take any help offered,as a job shared is a job halved,and if you can lighten the actual amount of work that you do,especially around the house,it will certainly help,with your rest and recovery.Take care,and please stay with us on here.There is someone on here 24/7,should you need them.CheersxoxRobyn
  • Hazel M
    Hazel M Member Posts: 708 ✭
    edited March 2015
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    I'm glad you found this network, as the ladies have already said, we will support you. Sorry to hear about your son as well, I hope he continues to fair well. I was diagnosed in Sept last year, had a lumpectomy, chemo and radiation, I'm still a bit weak but getting stronger every day. On Boxing Day last year my partner had heart problems and was diagnosed with cardio myopathy and I, like you, felt so overwhelmed and didn't know which way to turn. Between the two of us we were constantly going from one hospital to another for treatments. With the help of family and this network we worked our way through it, some difficult times but we focused on one day at a time and with treatment we are going well. I found myself questioning why was this was all happening to us, what had we done wrong? I understand now that is was nothing we did, that it just happened and the timing was bad. I believe I am now a stronger person than I was before and as a couple we are closer than we have ever been. I am sending you big cyber hugs and wish you all the best with what lays ahead, come onto this network with any questions you have or if you need to vent your feelings, there is always someone here who will understand, take care, 

    Hazel xx

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