First time blogger
I am a 42 year old mum to 3 beautiful chdren.
After a dream telling me to have a mammogram early October I was diagnosed with multiple cancers in both breasts. I had a bilateral mastectomy on 17th November and a bilateral axillary clearance 1st December. I see my chemo oncologist for the first time on 4th January with Tac chemo due to start 6th January. I saw my radiation oncologist last week and will have radiation on my left chest wall and neck due to 6/21 nodes being affected.
I would love to hear of any hints or words of encouragement from those in any stage of the breast cancer journey. Chemo is the part of the journey that scares me the most.
Thanks
Melinda
Comments
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Hello dear Melinda, I still remember my first post here, it was the night before my surgery in June 2011. I would like to send you all my love and support during this challenging time you are facing, and mainly I would like to tell you that it is not as hard as you think right now!! I was devastated and confused a few months ago, worried for my 5 months old baby and husband, now I tell you I feel in control of my life and happier than ever.
It is amazing that you have that dream telling you what to do, I feel like if that voice was your " inner wise woman" and you must trust on the power of your body working in harmony with your mind and soul to overcome this difficult period.
I was also super worried about chemo, the pink ladies here must remember ha! and I need to say it is not as bad as it sounds, I had 3 cycles every 21 days and then 6 weekly cycles and I almost did not have side effects. I lost my hair after my 2nd cycle and I still have a looooooootttt of fatigue thats pretty much all! No nausea, no vomiting, no pain, nothing!
I did take with me many things that made me feel happy to the chemo unit, such as pictures of family and friends, lavander oil (which gives tranquility) nice music and please concentrate during the moment they are giving you the drugs in something nice and guide the drugs (with your mind and heart) to only touch the cancer cells and protect the good cells. I would like to recommend a book which changes my life YOU CAN CONQUER CANCER BY IAN GAWLER. if you are in melbourne or can take a few days here, please visit the gawler foundation web-site for programs starting next year, it is a beautiful place to get help, support and guidance!!
All the best in your journey and count on me in whatever I can help!!
Leonor
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Hello dear Melinda, I still remember my first post here, it was the night before my surgery in June 2011. I would like to send you all my love and support during this challenging time you are facing, and mainly I would like to tell you that it is not as hard as you think right now!! I was devastated and confused a few months ago, worried for my 5 months old baby and husband, now I tell you I feel in control of my life and happier than ever.
It is amazing that you have that dream telling you what to do, I feel like if that voice was your " inner wise woman" and you must trust on the power of your body working in harmony with your mind and soul to overcome this difficult period.
I was also super worried about chemo, the pink ladies here must remember ha! and I need to say it is not as bad as it sounds, I had 3 cycles every 21 days and then 6 weekly cycles and I almost did not have side effects. I lost my hair after my 2nd cycle and I still have a looooooootttt of fatigue thats pretty much all! No nausea, no vomiting, no pain, nothing!
I did take with me many things that made me feel happy to the chemo unit, such as pictures of family and friends, lavander oil (which gives tranquility) nice music and please concentrate during the moment they are giving you the drugs in something nice and guide the drugs (with your mind and heart) to only touch the cancer cells and protect the good cells. I would like to recommend a book which changes my life YOU CAN CONQUER CANCER BY IAN GAWLER. if you are in melbourne or can take a few days here, please visit the gawler foundation web-site for programs starting next year, it is a beautiful place to get help, support and guidance!!
All the best in your journey and count on me in whatever I can help!!
Leonor
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Leonor
Thanks so much for your beautiful message. I have the support of an amazing family and lots of friends but felt it was time to make contact with women living the journey.
I am quite familiar with The Gawler Foundation as I have been living with MS for over 10 years and they also run programs for people living with MS. I will look for the book.
Thanks for the idea of taking photos etc to chemo. I must admit I've been focussing on getting through the first "unknown" chemo but will definitely follow your advice.
A nurse at the hospital looking after me after my mastectomy told me strong flavored cordial and chocolate paddle pops helped her whilst the chemo was given. I'm sure there are lots of people who can guide me on this.
Thanks again for your message. I hope we can support each other.
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Hi Melinda
what a crazy dream!!! but one that may have saved your life. I got out of hospital following my mastecomy on 24th December 2007 so this time of the year always stirs something inside of me
I also had 6 xC chemo and survived ok. Lots of people will give you advice, but everyone uis different. I was 36 when diagnosed and our children were 2 an 4 at the time so it was difficult juggling chemo with young children and a new business but I am living proof that it is doable and just last week turned 41. anyway lovely to chat but I best get some sleep, Santa bought my some gym sessions and I am starting them bright and early in the morning. Please feel free gu
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Well here I am awake again at 4am in the morning. This morning though I am awake checking to see if my 19 year old son has emailed to say he and his 4 mates have arrived safely in Bali. He hasn't so has probably discovered their first night club. As worried as I am for their safety whilst there my son gets to enjoy 10 days "cancer free."
Thankyou for all of your replies. It is certainly uplifting to be able to hear from everyone and interesting to read each individual story.
Finding all of my replies is a lovely surprise. Certainly beats playing solitaire.
My children are 21, 19 and nearly 16. They are all handling my diagnosis very differently with my youngest yet to show any emotion at all which worries me enormously. My 21 year old daughter has accompanied me to most of my appointments and was a huge support to me whilst in hospital.
Thanks again for your replies.
Mel xx
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Wow, Mel how incredible to have the support of teenage children through this time...and I know it must be a worry too, wondering how they are coping. They will be fine...just take it all a step at a time and try not to look too far ahead. (well, that's my advice anyway). I found there was so much to cope with mentally and physically that I made myself sick worrying about how I was going to get through it. It's nice to get to the other end and realise it's do-able!
I'll be following your progress online as will the other ladies who have responded I'm sure...so just type away whenever you feel the desire. XXX
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Thanks for your message. I am incredibly lucky to have the support of my children but sometimes I worry am I going to be putting too much on them.
The hardest part of my journey so far was telling the kids about my diagnosis. I am a single mum so I have had to talk to them about the difficult stuff by myself. I don't think there is a "good" age for children to be when this happens to their mum. A friend from work told me I was " so lucky" I got breast cancer when my kids were grown up. I told her I didn't feel anyone was lucky to have breast cancer and that I would be around to see my children raise their own families.
I promised the kids from day one I would be completely open and honest with them and I have been even though my Mummy lion instinct wants to protect her cubs.
Thanks again xx0 -
I agree. There's no good age to tell your children you have breast cancer. Mine were 1 and 4. BUT...just as you will get through these hardships, so will they. There is only one option for us all...deal with whatever comes our way the best we can at the time. Oh life can be so challenging, can't it. I have a drawing my older son did for me when I was having chemo. It's priceless. He hated to draw but I'm so glad he did this pic for me. It has little spikes of hair on my head.
He used to go around telling everyone "MY MUM HAS BREAST CANCER" and then reel off all the facts he knew about good cells and bad cells etc. He was so gorgeous. Truth is so very important.
I've been at the computer all morning so I'd best be off...just wanted to reply to you first.
HAng in there...I think you're doing great. Being a Mum...a single mum at that...is hard enough...add BC to the mix...just be gentle on yourself. X
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That's very cute about your son My youngest son still hasn't told any of his friends about my bc. When I ask him why he just shrugs his shoulders. I think if he doesn't tell anyone school becomes a "cancer free" zone for him.
Both my boys say they will shave their beautiful head of curls off the day I shave my head.
I just wanted to say how I feel almost like a weight has been lifted since I've been lucky enough to read about everyones journeys. Your support is greatly appreciated.
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I'm glad this site has helped. BCNA is an amazing organisation. It really does help talking to people who truly know something about what you're going through, doesn't it. So many corageous women too-you included. X
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Hi Melinda,
One thing I found really great was the look good feel better programme. I actually started losing my hair that day and the hats, makeup, tips etc was fab. Experiencing chemo is such a personal thing- some get thru ok, others have every side effect. One other word of advice- please take your nausea tablets even if you dont feel sick!
Best wishes, annie
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Hi Melinda,
One thing I found really great was the look good feel better programme. I actually started losing my hair that day and the hats, makeup, tips etc was fab. Experiencing chemo is such a personal thing- some get thru ok, others have every side effect. One other word of advice- please take your nausea tablets even if you dont feel sick!
Best wishes, annie
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Oh gosh, I haven't had time to think about new year resolutions. Um, after nearly 5 years since diagnosis and as many years since I have exercised, it's time to get fit and toned again!... But that's between us!!- I case I don't stick to it.xxxxxxx0
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Lol. Ohhh well... Walking to the fridge for chocolate counts as exercise. I have been training on and off with my trainer and now good friend Shaun for nearly a year but was being really good going twice a week when bc spoilt my fun. I found boxing to be a great stress relief and felt great after each session. My tuck shop lady arms were just getting smaller. Now my arms are numb sometimes and burning hot at other times. Boxing is a little while off yet.
Did you guys loose weight or put it on with chemo ?Someone told me they sometimes give you steroids with chemo that makes you put on or is it comfort eating.. I've been like... " oh there are more important issues to worry about now so I'll eat choccy for brekky"
Mel
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It's all relative...when BC comes to visit I think you deserve to indulge yourself! Seriously, I know that some ladies go on to better their lives and selves etc etc but I decided to chill a bit more and put less pressure on myself and just enjoy life's little joys a bit more. So, as my friends went off to training after school drop-off I'd drive by in my lttle Peugeot with the roof off, waving madly saying, "Anyone want to join me for cake and coffee?"!!! And instead of racing around cleaning the house I'd put my feet up a bit more with a good, no-brain-necessary magazine!
So, I have indulged myself and can't believe nearly 5 years has passed. The cellulite has now well and truly set in and I feel I WANT to do something about it now. I used to be an aerobics and squash junky...gone are those days for sure...these days I'll just make sure I walk each day...and work up a sweat. And hopefully I can get a game of squash in each week.
As for weight...I dropped 12 kg with chemo, leaving me at 40.5 kg. I have found it a bit scary putting weight on as I didn't want to get to used to fattening myself up!
I lost a good 5 kg in the first week of diagnosis, I guess due to shock. And I was very nauseous through chemo. I remember my oncologist said to me that just because I was small, didn't mean she would lighten up the dosage of chemo since it was so aggressive. I nearly didn't make it through!...but am so glad I did.
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