Feeling apprehensive
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Sister
Member Posts: 4,960 ✭
Not sure what's going on with me. I'm sitting in the car outside the Look Good, Feel Better workshop venue, waiting for it to be time to go in. I'm feeling excited about doing something fun but also incredibly anxious and I don't know why. It's just not the usual me. I know there'll be a bunch of strangers there but it's not as if I have to buddy up with anyone - I only have to smile and be polite at the most. Maybe because I've been so isolated from groups of people since my diagnosis. I'm almost teary with it all - and again, that's just not me. I'd better go in - I just hope I don't embarrass myself. I know it"s going to be fun...
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Forza! You'll be right. When I did it I found it a little confronting to sit in a room with a group of people who were all in the same boat as me. It was the first time I'd been in that position. BC is an isolating experience, bizarrely for something that's so common. Deep breath, hoist up those big girl undies and get in there!3
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And if those Big Girl Undies don't cut the mustard, I can send you a pair of my (laundered) Nanna Knickers...they'll do the trick!! Enjoy yourself...
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That is a familiar feeling @Sister I used to be a confident public speaker and even though I don't like crowds, I could tolerate them for short periods. Now I get this bizarre anxiety about being in a group where I am expected to act like a normal person. I even struggle with my Red Hats group and I have known some of those women for years.
The effort of making small talk and being nice to people makes me sweat which, when you consider l was a librarian for 15 years and talked about nonsense to hundreds of people a day, is distinctly odd.
Oh well, it seems I am, for the moment, destined to present as moody and mysterious. That's when I don't appear to be downright rude and disinterested. Never mind, I'd rather that then hide at home for the rest of my life. I think....
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Well, I survived and, I think would have fooled anyone who knows me. Had a bit of fun with the makeup and wigs. @Zoffiel - I didn't know you were a librarian. I am, too! And it's always been the people aspect of librarianship that I've really enjoyed. Oh well, big girl undies done with for awhile now- back to being a hermit.4
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I was, @Sister. I was made redundant in a restructure in 2016 just before my rediagnosis.
I went back to uni while I was sick and did my HR quals and now work on 'The dark side' from home. I miss the library, and I really miss driving the Bookmobile, but don't know if I'd cope in the public sector at the moment. Maybe an academic library would be OK, but there is nothing like that here.1 -
My mum was a library lady. No wonder I feel so fond of you guys!1
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Pre-kids I was a YAC Lib and then Branch Manager in public. I had a few years off with the kids and then went back to work a few years ago but working in a high school as an services officer. Not employed as a professional but the hours work and it's my kid's school and the Principal believes in libraries - and I get to do the good stuff so missing it a lot. My manager has okay'd me doing some book selection, though - they say they miss me, too! My dream job pre-kids was the mobile library in the Flinders Ranges. It was never advertised when it would have worked for me to apply for it, though.1
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I was a branch manager too; before they decided one part time person could manage three libraries and gave all the senior staff the flick to save money. Hey, how hard can it be, just put everything in alphabetical orderoand say shhhh. Right? Stats dropped by 30% in the first year now they are talking about turning one branch into a 'shop front library' which is one step up from a deposit box with RFID where you can pick up holds.
My FOL group invited me to be their guest speaker at their Xmas do last year. It made me sad to see how much money had been pulled out of the service. I used to chase grants for programming and shmoose authors to get them to visit, no one does that any more. Oh well. No point hanging around being the ghost of librarians past.1 -
So bloody short-sighted, isn't it? The same thing happening in schools, too. So many governing councils and principals taking money and space from their libraries to fund other shiny things. Next thing you know, the library door has shut because of course, the kids can get everything from the net. Then they wonder why the quality of the students' work goes down. That's why I'm so lucky (as an employee and a school parent) that our Principal believes in libraries and is prepared to push that (as long as we do the work to back it up).0
