Depression

CycloCyclo Bayside Melbourne Member Posts: 54
Two weeks ago, one year on from diagnosis I got the all clear as did my mother.  I was very relieved all round as I wasn’t sure I could deal another year like the one I had been through. Instead of feeling happy with the outcome for some weird reason I’m feeling really down.   I’ve had counseling over the last year to deal with the cancer trauma but I never felt depressed or down although I had every other emotion under the sun. I’ve managed to recover physically and I exercise regularly, go to work, eat well , sleep well etc.   I don’t really understand why I’m not jumping for joy and feel so miserable and wonder if anyone has some had a similar experience or any suggestions ?

Comments

  • SisterSister Adelaide Hills, SAMember Posts: 291
    First of all, congratulations on the all clear! and for your mother, too.  I'm just at the start of this so I can't speak from experience but I have read that many women feel like you when the rollercoaster stops.  I'm sure that you will get responses from people who have been there.  I wonder if it is worth speaking to a professional about it?
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 1,634
    hi Cyclo, I went through a similar thing one year out .... it might be good to reconnect with the counsellor you were seeing. sometimes the depression hits when we get our all clear it is like the water being let out the bath.... a big sigh but sometimes that sigh is not a positive feeling for us. 

    you could also give the helpline a call.... helpline on 1800 500 258 and speak with one of the cancer nurses or breast care nurse.
    It can be really helpful to talk about what is going on for you.  

    you are doing so many positive things working exercising eating well and sleeping well. 

    Hugs 
    Soldier crab
  • ZoffielZoffiel Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,155
    I think we run on adrenaline for a long time after diagnosis and when the threat appears to have gone away your body just goes 'blah' and takes your mind with it. You've put yourself n the best position you can from an physical perspective, it  just may take a while for your emotions to catch up now the focus has changed. Good luck, deep breaths, smell the roses. Marg
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,839
    @Cyclo - I'm no expert so I don't know if you are suffering depression medically or depressed at where you are at!  I assume it's about where you are at!  Flat as a tack, reflecting on where you have been, family history on your mind and the worry of recurrence.  

    I hope it makes you feel a little better to know that some of us feel flat, let down and wondering who the, what the, how did that happen!  We have been on the merry-go-round, or roller coaster for so long, lots of appointments, treatments and all of a sudden we are given freedom and we should be jumping for joy but we have spent all that time, doing what we can to improve our well being that we need to take time out to have a look back, a bit of a sulk and start to let go and enjoy!

    I have found that BC keeps giving, it has been nearly 3 years for me and at present I am in a lull with lots of appointments and I had said I wouldn't come on here much and comment as I felt I couldn't support anyone at present but I read your post and thought someone needs a reassuring virtual hug to know that those feelings are normal and eventually the rays of sunshine will warm your body as you head off on your bike somewhere for a ride knowing it's not off to a medical appointment.

    I love music and that helps me, I hope you find something to reinvigorate yourself!



    Take care 


  • DeanneDeanne Sunshine Coast QldMember Posts: 1,934
    Just be really kind to yourself! I think many of us feel a bit ‘what now?’ at around the one year point. I certainly did. Like you, my life looked ok on the outside, but inside I felt sad and empty and scared too.

    My life had been out of balance for so long that I needed to find what actually made me feel good again. I had put myself under pressure without really meaning too, getting back to ‘normal’. But I needed to find what gave me that happy feeling and do more of it. Yes @iserbrown music is one of my feed the soul things too!
  • CycloCyclo Bayside Melbourne Member Posts: 54
    Well I rang the help line and had a chat with the nurse.  Thanks to everyone for their replies which I have taken on board.  I guess I was thinking I was the only one who felt miserable after getting good news. I’m glad to hear that I’m not going mad, I might get some more counselling to help me out . 
    lyn 
  • iserbrowniserbrown Regional VictoriaMember Posts: 1,839
    Awesome!  Take care 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 1,634
    Glad we could share that we also felt like that .... it takes time to reclaim all our lives after a diagnosis.... we are such complex beings  we have emotional and spiritual and physical bodies all in one package.  

    Hugs 
    Soldier Crab
  • CycloCyclo Bayside Melbourne Member Posts: 54
    Thanks @SoldierCrab for sending the help number I rang it straight away funny how it’s sometimes hard to know where  to turn 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 1,634
    Yes and sometimes we just need a little nudge in the right direction ... 

    Glad you made contact and I know they would of given you some great advice and resources available to you to help you get over this hurdle. 

    Come back in and let us know how you are smashing those goals 

    solidercrab

  • MollygirlMollygirl Brisbane Member Posts: 200
    @Cyclo, you're damn well entitled to feel depressed!!! Fantastic news you've had the one year all clear but you know, you've been through the wringer. I think sometimes you feel left with some distrust in your body to do the right thing. You sound like you are really looking after your physical self really well. Sometimes the emotional or mental self needs a bit more attention... You've done the right thing to be reaching out. And hey, there's no roadmap or directions that say you have to be bright and breezy and chirpy - I allow the sadness or whatever to touch me like the edge of the water at the beach splashing over my toes - I just don't allow a wave to take me under xxoo
  • JoannieJoannie Member Posts: 337
    I remember thinking I was either low or depressed as I neared end of chemo back in August.  I started to think, am I depressed, am I tired?  This went on for 2 weeks, wondering what was going on, in the end I had to say to myself, oh shut up, you are tired, you are going through chemo.  Now that chemo has ended and rads, and I started on Arimidex in October, I am in a bit of a slump, but I do expect this for a time, and I get teary at times on my own at home (probably partly due to the Arimidex, I see the Oncologist on Friday).  

    My point I suppose is don't over analyze it @Cyclo, but do get help if needed.  

    I agree with @mollygirl we don't have to be bright and breezy and chirpy all the time.  And I like your poetic way with words regarding the edge of the water.   

    Maybe your mental energy is just taking its time to kick back in. Who says we have to bounce out of bed each with a smile on our face.  You have come out the other end with good results, but also all the attention we had with treatment comes to an end, that must take some adjustment for us I would think.  Glad you saw a counsellor, and keeping talking if need be.  God bless 
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