Bone mets and relationship fail

Claire Louise

I was diagnosed with stage 4 from the outset about 6 months ago.(june 17) Im 46 and had been dating a guy for just 6 months at the time. After id done a lot of processing, crying and really thinking about what i needed i ended the relationship a few weeks ago. He has been very angry and nasty and has stalked me.Its been incredibly stressful to the point ive threatened to call the police. I just want to lead a quiet life with my family and friends but he wont/cant see that. Has anyone else had an experience like this?. Its been awful but im slowly climbing back up with Gods help, and great family and friends.

Molly001

I'm so sorry to hear this. As if you don't have enough to deal with. I pray his heart is healed so that he can stop hurting you and for your strength and courage too. I will message you privately. I am suffering in a bad relationship too. God will take care of you xxxooo

viking1

I am so sorry to hear of your situation and the stress you are under.  This is my personal point of view:  If the boyfriend of 6 months wanted what was best for you, he would be unhappy that you have decided to end the relationship but would abide by your decision out of respect.  He could have said "If you change your feelings once this has all sunk in, call me and I will support you as best I can."  His behaviour is not only stressful but not "normal".  I would personally ring my local police station and ask to speak to someone about the situation re stalking.  If you feel more comfortable, request a female police officer and I am sure there is a department that deals with these issues.  You don't need to make a statement if you don't want to but you can find out what your options are.  Then you can make a decision.  You don't need extra stress in your life and this isn't the time for dealing with potentially dangerous situations.  Xxx

Claire Louise

Thank you both for your understanding.
I gave him the option of leaving not long after i was first diagnosed and said i was totally understanding if thats what he chose, but he never asked me if i wanted or needed him to step aside and just be friends.
Yes viking1, he has not respected my decision at all. He is emotionally very unwell and i only saw glimpses of that before the diagnosis. Im still reeling that this has all happened in the past 6 months.
Molly001 i am praying his heart is healed too. 

viking1

Just make sure you put yourself first at this time, hon, and don't risk putting yourself in danger through being kindhearted.  There are services that can help him.  Your plate is full xxx

Brenda5

If he is persisting it might be an idea to see the police and get a restraining order. You are in palliative stage and you really don't need drama like that, you need support and peace and lots and lots of rest. My dad has bone mets from prostate and he is still with us and quite mobile for a 76yr old. He still has his garden.

Zoffiel

Any man who will persecute a woman in your situation needs a reality check. I'd suggest that comes in the form of a visit from a member of the constabulary.
That's my polite response. If you could see my face right now you may get a better idea about what I would really like to say.
Marg xxx

June1952

Hi @CLouise
I agree 100% with Marg and Brenda.  You have enough on your plate without the added stress.  Perhaps this has been a blessing of sorts as his true colours have shown up and saved you finding out down the track.
Hope things are easing off for you - if not, go to the cops for advice.
Big hugs  Summer  

Afraser

If the behaviour is continuing, then take out a restraining order. This sort of behaviour is threatening and bullying, and distressing to someone in the best of health. No-one is obliged to maintain a relationship, if they no longer wish to. End of story. Take care.

melclarity

HI @clouise a difficult situation, sounds like he was just very emotionally invested and didn't walk away initially when you asked as he felt strongly. I was also 5 months into a new relationship when I had my 2nd diagnosis, I too gave him the option to leave but he stayed and he's not perfect but he's stuck by me for 3yrs. 

My first diagnosis my ex husband was upset as I wouldnt let him help me through it, he too became very vindictive and nasty but because of the hopelessness of the situation for him. 

Hard to comment to be honest, not knowing what your relationship was like, yes in an ideal world men should respect what you want, but I do think it's more complex too sometimes. 

Hoping things settle for you, Melinda xo