This can't be happening to me!!!

Kerry66Kerry66 Member Posts: 1
Hi to all you amazing people, my name is Kerry and 2 weeks ago today I was diagnosed with BC. I've been hoping that this is a really bad dream but alas it isn't. I have kept working but every day has been a struggle - every minute feels like an hour. My days are long but the nights are longer I have had little sleep

Comments

  • Molly001Molly001 Member Posts: 293
    Hi Kerry. Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. This is a wonderful forum for support and general questions etc. from a bunch of amazing, wise and experienced ladies (and a couple of men, too). It's all very confusing and overwhelming in the early days, but once you've seen your breast specialist and have a treatment plan you'll feel more in control. We're here for you xxxooo
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 3,182
    Hi Kerry and welcome. I know the 2 weeks I tried to keep working I was a mess. I'd have been lucky to have had an hour sleep. I did what I could until surgery.

    Have you had your breast surgeon appointment yet? 

    Also you may have found this but this link has great info and the kit is a fabulous resource. 

    https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/my-journey-kit/

    Ask away any questions you might have and we can hopefully point you in the right direction. Kath x
  • AfraserAfraser MelbourneMember Posts: 919
    This sort of waiting must be very hard - I was lucky, 2 days between confirmed diagnosis and surgery. Yes it was a bit of a blur but with hindsight that was easier than waiting. Once you know what's ahead, you can start planning for that and feel a lot more focussed. I did keep working, through treatment too, and found that helped me keep busy and positive but it doesn't work for everyone. I hope you will be seeing your breast specialist very soon and start to see a way through it all. Best wishes.
  • ShorelleShorelle Member Posts: 60
    Kerry , you are not alone.  That feeling of waking up everyday and realizing you are living your worst nightmarre. That feeling when you look at your loved ones and think what on earth is going to happen. That not knowing of the future. Not wanting to make plans. Looking in the mirror at no hair wondering who is this person. Its hard and its not fair and it is soul destroying.  BUT all the lovely ladies above help me and all the other people like us who find ourselves here as a last resort. They do show us that there is hope and that we just have to try and stay focused and not let this diagnosis destroy us. Im struggling everyday, in pain atm after a bilateral mastectomy 2 weeks ago and thinking that this pain I am going through better bloody well pay off! We can wish this away as much as we like but all we can do is what we are advised, eat well, exercise and do everything possible. All we can do is live for today and try and block out that fear. If I come up with a solution on how to make this easier I will be sure to let you know. Fixing things is what I do and leaving it to hope is not working that well but we must soldier on. Love to you from me. Your not alone  ( Although it feels that way, I know)
     
  • Brenda5Brenda5 Burrum Heads, QldMember Posts: 1,591
    edited November 10
    Welcome Kerry. Try to enjoy a good movie or something late at night. Its a bit like Tinnitus sufferers, using something else to mask the irritation. Look for your blessings and try and enjoy the little things we often miss when so busy with life. Hugz <3
  • JualJual Member Posts: 4
    Hi Kerry, 
    you are definitely not alone, I am one month into my journey and the first few days were the worst, it gets better once you have a plan for treatment and you know what is happening. The uncertainty is the hardest thing to manage I think. Sharing with others was a big help to me too, at first I didn't want to as it made it real but once I spoke to family, friends and online, it was better. All the best and I was given some good advice as well - focus on yourself and be a "bit selfish" and accept help that is useful to you. Best wishes and keep checking in with the community. 
  • SoldierCrabSoldierCrab Bathurst NSW Member Posts: 1,077
    Hi @Kerry66 sorry you have need to be here.... I am a 5 year survivor now so there is hope. 
    Those first few weeks can be very stressful and we are here to answer questions give you ideas and generally understand where you are at. 

    Do  you have a breast care nurse ? 
    https//www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx  this is the link to find your nearest one. 

    They can often answer questions and give you more information about what is next. 

    So at a guess where you born in 1966 or you are 66?  

    Please ask any questions nothing it the wrong question when we get on this roller coaster ride..... 

    Hugs 
    Soldiercrab 
  • Milly21Milly21 Member Posts: 8
    Hi Kerry
    i was diagnosed on 8th September 2016,so nearly a year ago,I was devastated and felt like this couldn't possibly be happening to me,I waited for surgery then results because of time of year,I actually became depressed and like you said would wake in morning then remember and just feel sick to my stomach,I finished treatment April,and I know it's hard to believe but things do get back to a new normal,if I could go back and tell my scared and anxious self something back then it would be to hang in there and things really do get better.i was always really frustrated to waiting for appointments and results,but it all takes time and most times can't be rushed,I wish you well and in a year hope you can look back like I am now.❤️❤️
  • Milly21Milly21 Member Posts: 8
    December not September 
  • SalpalSalpal Member Posts: 11
    Hi Kerry, l was diagnosed 3 weeks ago and am booked for surgery on 23rd Nov.
    It is all very overwhelming and daunting and everything seems like a whirlwind.
    This site and the ladies here are awesome for advice and tips.
    I hope you have ordered the my journey kit, l have found this to be helpful.
    I know when l was diagnosed l had a bit of a pity party for myself.
    I have found keeping busy helps as a distraction and exercise in any form. Just know you always have everyone here to talk to anytime.
    Take care and know you have got this in the bag xx
  • socodasocoda LeumeahMember Posts: 1,457
    Hi @Kerry66, and welcome. It does all seem like a bad dream and unfortunately I don't think that many of us have been lucky enough to go through testing and find out that it has been a near miss. I had a week and a half between my mammogram and being called back by breastscreen. Then another week waiting on results, then a week and a half to see my GP for a referral, and 1/2 a week to see surgeon.Then a four week wait for surgery. I had the support of my colleagues at work who found out the same day I did as they knew I was waiting on results and phoned me while I was still at breastscreen getting the results. I decided that I was going to look on the bright side and portray a happy outlook and recognise that I was lucky I had been diagnosed early. That however certainly didn't stop the fear, both of the unknown and for what I was going to go through. So please realise that it is totally okay to be scared stupid, to have a good cry, to be totally cheesed off. You are doing one of the hardest things at the moment and that is waiting. It does get easier as you go. On the day of my surgery I woke at 2am with a headripping migraine. I was lying on the operating table waiting for the surgeon to scrub in and decided to close my eyes to try and ease the migraine - and I fell asleep!!! They hadn't given me any medication yet,  I was just so exhausted and realised that I was in fantastic hands, that when I woke up I was going to be hopefully cancer free and that was enough. To think there was nothing more that I could do at that point and just go with the flow.
    I hope you can sleep (depending on how long until your surgery) you might ask your gp for a sleeping pill to assist you, at least then you will get some sleep.
    We are all here for you, we understand your fears, the highs and lows that you are experiencing and are sending  you virtual hugs and hand holding to help you through. Come on here and vent, voice your fears, get support from us.
    Big hug to you and wishing you all the best. Xx Cath
  • adeanadean Member Posts: 946
    Yes many a walls scrubbed and cupboards cleaned.while waiting. There are so many amazi f woman to help you along here. Im 5 years post and yes its a terrible news to get but you grt through it, changed yes. I met and made great friends through bc thst was a positive and l got to join great woman here. All the best adean xx
  • Jazz26Jazz26 PerthMember Posts: 15
    Hi @Kerry66 I was diagnosed 5 weeks ago and had my surgery 4 weeks ago now waiting for treatment to start. I found the initial finding out very stressful. When I found the lump I had to wait several days to see my doctor, then it was just over a week wait for the mammogram & biopsy. Another week to see the specialist and they didn't have the results of the biopsy so then it was another week later before my worst fear was confirmed. It took 3 weeks of wondering to finally have them say it ! Now I am playing the waiting game again to find out when my treatment starts and if it's chemo or radiation therapy. 
    I finally decided to try find some answers to my questions on here and I must say it has been a great help for me. There are a lot of people who are willing to share their experience and information with you. I hope you get some answers soon, take care. 
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