I am in shock

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Coco65
Coco65 Member Posts: 14
I was diagnosed yesterday 2/06 and I'm feeling a lot of different emotions.
The hardest part is having to tell my kids, all teenagers and one has taken it particularly hard, so whilst I want to just fall apart I am staying strong for them so as not to scare them.
My surgeon tells me it is very early Breast Cancer detected by a Mammogram, I am 52 and married to a wonderful supportive man.
I have no lump and if I had't had the Mammogram I wouldn't have known, I am one of 11 children and 9 of them are girls so that 1 in 8 women statistic has hit the nail on the head.
I am so scared and I joined this group in the hope of getting some much needed support from other women that have been through this.
I am waiting to be booked in for my biopsy and he tells me I will then need surgery to remove it followed by 3-5 weeks of radiation everyday.
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  • MKitty68
    MKitty68 Member Posts: 261
    edited June 2017
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    Hi @Coco65 sorry that you have to go through this, welcome to the forum, all of the ladies here are wonderfully supportive so you have come to the right place. 
    I am currently 11 days post mastectomy & mine wouldn't have been found other than slight changes & getting a mammogram. It is a very frightening time for you, but good that they have found it early. 
    It's all a bit of a whirlwind once you get that diagnosis, it's wonderful that your husband is supportive. There are groups here I believe for teenagers, and in the My Journey kit they can send a thumb drive for them. I hope that they can also find some support for them somewhere, it can be a difficult thing for them to get their head around too. 


  • nikkid
    nikkid Member Posts: 1,766
    edited June 2017
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    Hi @Coco65, I was where you are now back in February 2016. No symptoms; no lumps or bumps....just those nasty little calcifications on a mammogram. It was very very early BC - but because mine was multi focal, I was recommended to have a mastectomy. All of this just around my birthday!

    Now, 15 months later, I've had the left vertical skin sparing mastectomy; had a tissue expander inserted; and 9 weeks ago had a DIEP Reconstruction. I've been on Tamoxifen the whole time.

    I understand the whirlwind you're going through - but do know you will make it; and we will be here to support you through.

    Nikki xx
  • LMK74
    LMK74 Member Posts: 795
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    Hi coco65, welcome but sorry you're here too. The fact yours has been caught early is great. If surgery and radiation are all that's needed that is a blessing. I was diagnosed January and an doing chemo at the moment followed by surgery and radiation. It is very scary to have this,but everyone here is so supportive and able to offer advice as everyone is at different stages in this process. Maybe the kids just need time for it to sink in and when you have a clearer picture of the situation they  will settle. It's a lot to take in for sure, but I'm wishing you all the best.
    Lisa x
  • Coco65
    Coco65 Member Posts: 14
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    Hi nikkid, that's exactly what they found on my Mammogram the Microcalcifications!   The wait to have the biopsy done is agonising, I just want to get it done so I am absolutely positive it is what the surgeon says it is and not worse.
    I am so glad I joined this forum as I already feel a bit more relaxed. xx


  • Coco65
    Coco65 Member Posts: 14
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    Hi Mkitty68
    I have ordered my journey kit and requested the usb for teens. 
    Thank you for your support and I hope your doing ok x
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,372
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    Hey @Coco65 It sucks, it really does. You are at that terrible time of 'hurry up and wait'. Things seem to either happen too quickly or too slowly and the goal posts have an annoying habit of moving mid game.

     I'm a bit of an old campaigner--I had a recurrence last year after 10 years disease free--and my best advice is that shabby old adage, one day at a time.

    Our brains go into overdrive and our bodies rebel, but the cancer train moves at its own pace. Good luck, Coco. Marg xxx
  • Coco65
    Coco65 Member Posts: 14
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    Hi Zoffiel
    Your right about the waiting game!
    I am still trying to deal with everything, it must be so frustrating that you have to go through it all over again x
  • Zoffiel
    Zoffiel Member Posts: 3,372
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    Meh, what choice do I have?
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
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    I was 51 at diagnosis. 3 teenage boys. 1 of 10 children, but I was the second sister to get breast cancer. Mine wasn't detectable by mammogram but I fortunately found a lump while still small. I chose a bilateral mastectomy  (mainly because it wasn't visible on a mammogram a mere 5 weeks prior ) and the fear of an undetected recurrence was greater than losing my breasts. My biopsy was es+pr- Her2+  . You will start to understand these meanings later. It meant chemo for me and a targeted therapy which was planned for 12 months but needed stopping earlier as it was affecting my heart. ..which has now fully recovered. The beginning is a whirlwind and the fear is real. I spent many nights awake worrying and slapping on the happy face during the day so my boys would feel confident I would be okay. But I didn't know for cetain, none if us do. But you will get through treatment and reclaim your life and hopefully,  hopefully we become 1of the 90% cancer free in 5 years . Take care. Kath x
  • fairydust
    fairydust Member Posts: 290
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    @Coco65 when your in the middle of it is overwhelming. I am looking back now and it was less hard than I imagined. Radiation just flew past. Surgery was okay. I think it is so unfamiliar and have no idea what to expect. May I suggest if you have teenagers have snacks on hand. IN my case my son was to pick me up after I had a port. 
    Surgery was delayed my son had nothing to eat over several hours. I was getting ready to  be discharged and my son collapsed in the hallway. Long day at work and hadnt eaten. Every one was fussing over him and bringing him round.
    What about me? So I know food and teenagers go hand in hand. My son  is much older. best wishes
  • Coco65
    Coco65 Member Posts: 14
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    Primek I can't believe how similar our family stories are! I too have 3 teenage boys and 11 in my family 9 of which are girls. 
  • socoda
    socoda Member Posts: 1,767
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    Hi @Coco65, Sorry that you're here with us. At least you have now found this site and know that you don't have to be strong, invincible and without fear here. We understand and are all here as a resource and cheer squad for you. Know that there are no silly questions and the amount of experience on here is phenomenal. So welcome lovely, big hug to you. Xx Cath
  • Brenda5
    Brenda5 Member Posts: 2,423
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    Welcome to our larger than we'd like it club. It just keeps on hitting women and its got nothing to do with how you live or how you eat or how fit or unfit you are either. You will love the journey kit as it will educate you on whats happening and with your confidence growing, so it will follow on your children will be ok too. I let my husband read the kit and he was very interested too. It did help a lot as thereafter he has come to every appointment with me as support and another set of ears as when you are in shock you tend to miss a lot of what is discussed. I have 2 young 20's sons living at home. One was very concerned and the other was just stunned and said he didnt know how to take it. I think both ended up chatting online with their gaming friends and some who had a mum who had been there with bc before were very supportive. 
  • Coco65
    Coco65 Member Posts: 14
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    Thank you Brenda5 I have also suffered depression most of my adult life so I'm struggling with that as well and people telling me not to get upset because that feeds it!! That's exactly what I need to hear!
  • nikkid
    nikkid Member Posts: 1,766
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    Just a hint @Coco65 - pop an @ in front of someone's name if you want to directly tag them  :)