Hello and Welcome @Michelle49 ..........
What a crazy place to you find yourself right - posting on this site....well that is what I initially thought a few weeks ago - but I am so very glad that I did, as it has been such a wonderful support and comfort to be able to share my worries, fears, ups and downs with other strong women who truly understand the scariness that is breast cancer.....such a safe place here xxx
After turning 40 in Jan I thought I would focus on my health this year and get a few things in order after spending 18 months trying to manage chronic lower back pain.....So as I headed off for my mammogram I really didn't have a care in the world!!!fast forward 2 weeks and things quickly changed.....more scans, ultrasounds, biopsies, and a whole lot of people touching my boobs......
I will never forget the look on the Gp's face on the day of diagnosis, Friday 31st March- she wasn't my usual GP, but it was a Friday and I didn't want to wait over the weekend not knowing the results.......She was very professional - but as she came out to the waiting room my stomach churned - the look on her face said it all........breast cancer in my left breast.
Then the craziness began - so many appts, further tests etc including a 6 hour round trip for further biopsies that couldn't be done in my local area. One lump turned into 3- so a change of diagnosis to multi-focal BC....... My surgeon advised that a mastectomy was my only option, and highly recommended a double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction with implants. I agreed to this and had surgery on Friday 21st April....just shy of 2 weeks ago. they were able to reconstruct my nipples too - but they are still under wraps and dressings (which is fine by me as I am not ready to see that just yet!!)
I came home after 5 nights in hospital - and to be honest the recovery has so much better than I had expected it to be...I really got myself into a tizz before surgery and was soooooo freaked out about the pain factor. I had a 7 am admission to hospital and was first on the surgery list....I cried myself to sleep that night and all the way to hospital that day!!! I was up using the loo that night at 10.30pm (despite my grumbles) showered the next morning by 9am - with the help of a lovely nurse mind you.
I came home with drains in, one came out quickly, but I am still carting the other one around with me as I type...but both surgeons have said it will come out tomorrow thank god!! I got my pathology results today which were great - things are starting to look up for me and my family!!
Yes I am stiff, sore, swollen and bruised, but I am alive and grateful that I feel well enough to be able to share my experience with you and others.
The last 5 weeks of my life feels so surreal - like I have been starring in some strange and badly made tv show...but each day post surgery gets better and better - that period of the unknown and waiting prior to surgery was absolutely the worst time in my life.......
With a good medical team, and strong support from your nearest and dearest you will get through this and one day be able to share your story with a newly diagnosed woman and help allay her fears.
I wish you all the very best for the next steps and I hope that you stay connected here - it really does help to talk and share. Be kind to yourself, embrace the tears when they hit, ask lots of questions and know that it is ok to totally loose your shit about this every now and then xxxx We are all here to support and we understand xxxx
warmest wishes and positive thoughts xx