Need some support...

Scooper

Dear Scientist.
I am so sorry that you have to join us here.  I imagine it would be even more difficult for you being a researcher in this field.
I find that every day is different for me.  Some days I am overwhelmed by the situation we find ourselves in and other days I don't even think about it.  I will be thinking of you and all others that are in the same boat as me.  It is crap.  Enjoy your baby girl, take some leave from work and try and rest up.
With kind wishes and love
Sandra
xx

primek

I have nothing to add except to remember you are unique. My sister lived a long time with metastatic cancer (and well before a lot of medications were around that are commonly used now). She saw all her children marry, got to spend time with grandies. She made sure she packed a lot of living in that time and such wonderful memories. Big hug to you. And thankyou, thankyou for your research. Kath x

EarthWalkerLisha

Oh @scientist I'm sorry I have no advice for you, but you have many shoulders to lean on in this community and many ears to hear your story and feel your grief and pain.  So good of you for reaching out. I know you will do what you need to do for you and your family.  Be kind to yourself. Know you are loved and supported here.  Hugs Lisha xx

KimW

scientist said:

Hi all,

This is my first message here. I have been resisting, but here I am.

So I'm 37 years old. I was first diagnosed with brca in 2009 when I was 29. Did chemo, double mastectomy and hormone therapy. All good, then in 2013 had a small recurrence in the breast. Some radiotherapy and hormone therapy again. All good again, especially when I got pregnant (naturally!) and had the most gorgeous baby girl on the first day of spring last year (2016). Everything was great.

Then in December, when my baby girl was 3 months, they tell me it's come back and is in my bones and lung. I've been on taxol for 4 months - it has worked pretty well so am going to do another 3-4 months. 

Here's the kicker - I am a breast cancer researcher!!! So I know exactly what is going on, and what my prognosis is. 

I don't know... I guess I'm just hoping for some positive thoughts right now.... anyone? 

@scientist your story bit similar to mine, my primary diagnosis was in 2002, we had a baby in 2007 and my liver mets were diagnosed in 2012.  I'm now 15yrs since primary and been living without mets for last 5yrs, did Abraxane chemo with herceptin for 2yrs ( yr 1 was 3wks on 1wk off chemo with weekly herceptin, yr2 was fortnightly chemo with 3wkly herceptin) past 3 years been on herceptin and aromasin, got a 30% reduction in liver mets but I've been stable ever since fingers crossed so I just keep plodding along attending hospital every 3wks for herceptin, take my aromasin tablets daily. Wish you all the best.

hugs xx

sandramj

@scientist Welcome to this site.  I only joined in April after breast surgery - felt very crappy that I HAD to join - but Ive been so grateful ever since.  

Yes you are a cancer researcher, but you are a woman, a wife, a daughter and with a daughter, and we are so much stronger than anyone gave us credit for.  Your power is not always in science and knowledge as scientists don't know how powerful our brains are, or how positive affirmations, meditations, visualisations are.  I had a brain tumour removed in 2000 (it was malignant but 80% sure to return).Id had chemo trying to shrink it prior. I read Louise Hay and did all of those above, and 17 years later it hasn't returned. Theatre staff at the Mater sent notes and messages to my ward saying they didn't know what Id done, but they felt there was a huge energy in the op theatre that day - almost like angles there.  I recovered miraculously quick apparently.

 I now have breast cancer and am doing my best to repeat the same "non-physical" treatments in addition to the medical treatments - I do believe we have so much power in our mind, spirit, soul but just don't know how to "tap in".  I figure it cannot hurt to do all the positive things and telling the subconscious healing is underway.  There are new finds every day and meantime I'll be doing WHAT I CAN to heal myself - with the assistance of my medical team.  I hope you can find a way to think outside the square and away from your 'knowledge' as a researcher.  

I listen to meditations (sometimes about breast cancer) when Im going to sleep and if Im needing a relax during the day.  Even if I don't think I'm doing much mind work, my subconscious is hearing the messages from the relaxation meditations.  Its the best I can do.  Here's a link to one for explanation    BCNA have some on this site too.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNUXueouQjE
I am sending angels to assist you in your healing and journey.  Hugs and strength...  

sunandsaltwater

@scientist Respect to you for being a cancer researcher! And while I feel empathy for you and all of us here being in the same boat, I think it must be so much worse for someone as young as you and with tiny people still in your care. So, sympathy as well as empathy! It's just not fair. Best wishes for you and your family and friends together for many years more, with new cancer treatments aplenty. Thanks to researchers like yourself. x