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Wish the rollercoaster would slow down
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Vix
Member Posts: 51 ✭
Friday I found out my head MRI results - there are 3 new teeny teeny tiny spots. Not again!!!! Friday was lots of tears of sheer frustration. Still doing Abraxane chemo for the bone mets & tired of being tired, not being allowed to drive & I miss working.
Radiation Oncologist wants another head MRI in 8 weeks. Possibly will need another one off session of Stereotatic Radiosurgery to zap the buggars. The thought of being locked in that head mask again for 50-60mins for treatment causes severe anxiety. Last time sedative didn't work as well due to my high anxiety & I had to also take high dose of steroids for brain swelling due to intensity of treatment. The mask is so claustrophobic & last 10mins the pain is so bad. The staff are beyond awesome & do everything in their power to help get me as comfortable as possible & settled, they are so, so understanding. When the time comes will speak to my awesome radiation oncologist to see if we can devise a plan to make me calmer. So thankful he is the nicest most caring man who really listens. I will do this, I can do this, just another hurdle. Back to chemo Tuesday. Big girl pants back on & focusing on being strong & positive. Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent. Just wish the rollercoaster would slow for just a bit!
Radiation Oncologist wants another head MRI in 8 weeks. Possibly will need another one off session of Stereotatic Radiosurgery to zap the buggars. The thought of being locked in that head mask again for 50-60mins for treatment causes severe anxiety. Last time sedative didn't work as well due to my high anxiety & I had to also take high dose of steroids for brain swelling due to intensity of treatment. The mask is so claustrophobic & last 10mins the pain is so bad. The staff are beyond awesome & do everything in their power to help get me as comfortable as possible & settled, they are so, so understanding. When the time comes will speak to my awesome radiation oncologist to see if we can devise a plan to make me calmer. So thankful he is the nicest most caring man who really listens. I will do this, I can do this, just another hurdle. Back to chemo Tuesday. Big girl pants back on & focusing on being strong & positive. Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent. Just wish the rollercoaster would slow for just a bit!
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Oh so frustrating for you. I know your team will help you. Just wondering if medication that is given during a scope might be helpful. ..as it fortunately causes a bit of amnesia so you won't even remember your time in the mask. Its not an anesthetic, just a sedation. Just a thought. Your team will know the best solution. Take care and hope all sorted soon.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midazolam
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UGH! I'm feeling all claustro just from reading that. I hope that his time it treats you better. Bluck yucky bleh.2
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Vix, I am with InkPetal here - just reading your post was enough for my anxiety levels to rise.
I get extremely anxious when I have had MRI's but that is nothing compared to what you have had to endure.
I am thinking new sort of sedative (as suggested by Primek).
All the best for chemo Tuesday.3 -
Keep happy thoughts. Maybe you could spend the time remembering word for word your favourite movie or something or tell them you want a big movie screen in there, even better.
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Does your unit play music while you are in there ... At the radiology unit where I had mine done they had music playing and we could ask for our own ipod music to play.... etc. I would take my Ipod when I was having a bad day and they would put my relaxation music track on for me to then be able to focus on the relaxation it helped .... this was only for my Breast rads so I know it is different but just a thought. PLUS what @primek suggested... I like the others feel the tension just reading your post.. hugs and energy Soldier Crab
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Will definately be discussing better/other sedative options with radiation oncologist. I try and get the yoga breathing happening and just recite positive affirmations over and over in my head. They have the best play lists ever - one of the radiation techs constantly makes them so a big selection. It all helps. Thanks everyone for your kind words and support! Here is pic of my mask I get locked into - it was made to fit my face so a very snug fit! At least the making process wasn't too bad, it's a warm soft material placed on my face that actually felt a bit like a facial until it cooled on my face and turned into hard plastic type stuff!
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Well....no wonder you feel anxious...who wouldn't?3
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I'm feeling like we need a horror face react option by the like awesome and lol
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Horror face ?2
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Horror face I surely am when I have to wear that thing lol
I scare myself!1 -
Hi Vix, perhaps some hypnotherapy to help keep anxiety levels down?? It works wonders and there are mental exercises to help keep things under control. Your mask reminds me of Silence of the Lambs. Can totally understand why you are getting the anxiety. Sending you a big hug. Xx Cath1
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Hi Cath / Socoda - thanks for the great suggestion. And I have at times referred to my face mask as Hannibal Lecter! lol x3
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how is this @InkPetal 4 -
Perfect Soldier Crab, just perfect!
Thanks for my Monday morning laugh, still giggling3
