My brain is mush.
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Me2
Member Posts: 35 ✭
Hi ladies. My name is tracey im 56 . Sad angry and petrified. Was diagnosed 6th feb. The big C word hit me like a tonne v bricks. However, being the tough bird that i am i made sure that i kept my stiff upper lip for the world. Family included. Unfortunately my sister has just been disgnosed with bowel cancer a fortnight before. Mum got bladder cancer last yearbut clear now. We were always the faily everyone else thought was so lucky. We never had any illness or accidents. No all this at once.I cannot believe it. I know im supposed to be relaxed and calm my mind and meditate etc but icannot shut down. Either dwelling on my lot or my sisters'. Cant sleep, not fussed about food. Constantly exhausted, still working. A glass or three of wine at night helps, but not good to do. Just want to get something done. 7th march is my apntmnt with surgeon then surgery they say about a week later. Bring it on.
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Hi @Me2 Just want to welcome you to the group, none of us would want to belong to and encourage you. You have a right to be angry and sad and petrified, we are here to help you navigate your way through this horrible diagnosis.
Feel free to Rant we understand and get it.
Tracey you are allowed to get a Mental Health plan from your GP when you have a diagnosis of cancer and go to see a psychologist I highly recommend doing that you have such a lot that has hit your family in one go...
https://www.psychology.org.au/FindaPsychologist/Default.aspx
Once you have seen your surgeon you will feel a bit more in control.
Do you have a Breast Care Nurse? http://www.mcgrathfoundation.com.au/OurMission/OurNurses/FindANurse.aspx
have you got the My Journey Kit? https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/
You sure have had a lot to cope with in a short space of time....
HUGS and energy to deal with it.
Soldier Crab aka Alice xoxox0 -
Hi! Once you've had the visit with the surgeon where you know what type of surgery is best for you the mush will become a little clearer. Yes it is a so and so and Alice has given you some links to help navigate some information. It is perfectly normal to feel lost, confused, off your food, not sleeping much! All those things but it will change!
Take care0 -
Hi Tracey
Now is not the time to be worried that you don't have a calm mind--that would be so unusual it would be creepy! It's normal to be red lining. Our bodies are weird things, all that adrenaline roaring around in the beginning is a very natural response to a very threatening situation. Acceptance of your diagnosis takes some effort and some of us struggle, personally I'm rubbish at it. Your family issues on top of your own are a huge load but we are stronger than we realize. Once you start treatment you will have something else to focus on and that feeling of pointlessly treading water abates a bit.
it's bad news for both you and your sister but you'll start to figure out how the system works (knowledge most of us would be probably prefer to be ignorant of) which will eventually make the whole mess a little less confusing. You will have time to concentrate on your relaxation techniques later.
Best of luck.
Marg
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@Me2 thing Ive come to learn is, expect the unexpected. You would be numb right now and rightfully so, its overwhelming and its frightening where you are, with no answers and no direction. So bring on March 7 to begin only then will things feel like they are moving and you are closer to knowing what you have and what treatment is required. Its normal to be all over the place and you have others to worry about.
Definitely keep talking here, between us all we have a wealth of knowledge and experience and above all else endless support and hugs! You are not alone even when it feels you are we get it. So all I can say is where you are right now is super tough....so distract and occupy as best you can as its out of your hands. I found doing little things for myself alone that helped me feel centred and peaceful somehow amongst the chaos worked. As simple as sipping my green tea in the sunshine on a mild day or a walk in nature, whatever that thing is that brings this feeling of peace in that moment where you just BE and not focus on anything outside of that moment.
Big Hugs, Alice is right, talking to someone can help at some point too and you do get 6 free consults under a Mental Health Plan..I always found my Breast Care Nurse was wonderful and there to listen I only ever rang twice but oh boy was a meltdown! LOL Theres certainly plenty of support. So deep breath! Melinda xo1 -
Hello Tracey, so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. It is completely overwhelming, mind shattering, frightening and unbelievable at first. We understand, we have been there. These early days are so difficult. I know it seems hard to believe but you will start to feel better and more in control when you see your surgeon and get a plan in place. There is so much to take in at first and things start to move so quickly. It really helped me to use a note book to write down all the questions I thought of between appointments. There are no stupid questions! It can be information overload with the specialists and I always seemed to forget to ask something. Plus it was a good feeling to cross my questions off!
There are so many strong and supportive women on this site. It is a safe place to be yourself - you don't need to put up a front or be strong. Share how you feel, ask questions. You will amaze yourself with how strong you can be and remember, you are not alone. We are all here for you. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Sending you a huge hug, Jane xx1 -
I remember those days awaiting the breast surgeon appointment. I didn't sleep more than an hour or so and had many tears (especially in the shower).
The waiting and unknown is the worst. I must say I did feel better after the breast surgeon appointment and once I had a treatment plan sorted. Not saying there weren't more tears nor more sleepness nights and even now, 12 months on I still sometimes have them.
You will find you have more inner strength than you ever thought possible and strangely, even though different cancers and different treatment you and your sister will have a common bond that is rare. You will both understand how difficult this treatment can be, and how scary it can be.
Lean on each other when you can...and don't be frightened to shed a tear in front of each other. You my dear have us though, to just let off steam to and ask questions. A site for bowel cancer I don't think exists.
I hope all goes smoothly for you and please let us know how you go. Take care. Kath x1 -
Hey Me2, Welcome to the site. All of the ladies have given great advice so I'm just going to send both you and your sister a huge hug, it does get better. Xx Cath0
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Welcome Tracey, you are in that dreaded twilight zone of waiting which seems to be actually one of the worst times, at least it was for me. I dropped 5kg between diagnosis and the surgeon appointment and that was pure stress. Busy yourself with planning for that surgery. I got all my house work up to date and did a few things to help myself for after surgery. Simple things like hang your towel on a lower rack as you won't feel like reaching up for anything for a while. Bonus for you with your sister and mother being cancer patients, the doctors will seriously go for the best treatment for you and not mess about. Hugz.
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Thank you so much ladies for your kindness. I do believe I have a battle ahead of me, which you have all fort before me. However, ive never backed down from adversity yet and im not about to start now. With a clan of woman like yourselves in my corner how can i fail. Love and appreciation to you all.4
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Hi Me2.
I don't know who told you that you had to be relaxed and calm. You'd need to be superhuman to achieve that! There's no living human that ever received a cancer diagnosis without feeling like the earth had opened up beneath them. I am so sorry for your diagnosis and hope it all goes well with your appointment.My best advice is to just take it one day at a time. I'm now just a few months off four years since diagnosis and I can still remember very clearly the shock I was in when I was first diagnosed.I found it very helpful to repeat the phrase 'It is what it is' during those early days. A fellow survivor encouraged me to say a word starting with 'f' (forbidden on this site) very loudly and repeatedly and I admit that also made me feel better
I also found watching kids movies helped. They are all funny and have a happy ending. Great for taking my mind off things. You'll figure out what works for you.
You're right about the wine or three. I didn't know it was a category one carcinogen until I was diagnosed!
Love and best wishes. Remember that most people diagnosed with breast cancer will survive it.1 -
Hi "breast friends" just back from my first meeting with surgeon. I have triple negative. And was told "particularly nasty" cancer needs to go now. Mastectomy on monday. Have a lots v tests to have done this week. Absolutely beyond words. Had to tell my daughter, family, friends, . Cant believe it. This is really happening. Life will never be the same again. Im affraid0
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I personally believe all bc are nasty and need to go. Hope your week goes quickly and honestly, believe it or not, it is such a relief to have the darn cancer cut out. Yake care. Kath x0
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@Me2 Im 4.5years since diagnosis of triple negative bc or tnbc i have had bilateral mastectomy chemo and rads... I have no evidence of disease..... I kicked the bitches arse back to hell.......we are all afraid be guided by your team, listen to your gut instincts and know we have your back
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Thank you so much soldier crab, im truly so overwhelmed. Its nice to know there is such a forum of ladies to look to for guidance. Hope im able to help someone else one day.0
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Best of luck Me2, good to get the surgery done & then you know it is gone. I was told my cancer was "bad" & "nasty". Surgeons have such a way with words!0
