Anxiety

CatNev
CatNev Member Posts: 19
edited January 2017 in Newly diagnosed
Hi

I am a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient as of mid november.  I had a left mastectomy and lymph nodes removed the day after my 60th birthday  in december.   Aggressive Stage 2 1/2.  I was so positive that I could handle it, and life would continue as normal after treatment.   My first mistake.  My first chemo was last wednesday, which went good, but 4 hours later I was on the lounge and beside myself.  I remember saying I don't think I can do this.  This happened so quickly.  Found out later that I was having an anxiety attack.  I have never had one before and it was terrifying.  After trip to ED and to doctors was put on Lorazipam, which has been a godsend, as had the first night sleep in nearly 5 days.  Am now on the good side of chemo, having counselling asked everyone and anyone for help at the time, but how do I control this anxiety/panic that keeps building up without having to resort to drugs.  I am trying meditation, exercise, deep breathing, peppermint tea.  My husband was been fantastic but he cant stay home all day to make sure I am ok.  During the day if i have something to do it is ok, but the nights just seem so long.  I have a long journey ahead of me, a journey I cant get off of til the end.  I appreciated any advice. 

Comments

  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502
    Hi Catnev I answered this post on another thread for you. x Melinda
  • CatNev
    CatNev Member Posts: 19
    how do i get to this thread please
    thank you Melinda
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502
    I'll repost my reply here x
  • melclarity
    melclarity Member Posts: 3,502
    Catnev Im sorry to hear of your journey this far!!! Awful!!! it is hard, no two ways about it, its overwhelming and shocking. Nothing you do prepares you for it all, sounds like the anxiety attack was you on overload, and completely understandable. Have you thought of getting some counseling specifically for this?? I'd touch base with your Breast Care Nurse, they'd be able to recommend someone. Loved ones are great, but they dont understand the depths of it all. You can also come here, we are all a very supportive group and full of information and experiences that can help. You can even just vent!!!! because we get it!!! I did 4.5 months of Chemo and am 1yr post now. I was very ill through the whole thing. I learnt to do a day only at a time, not look at the big picture. Exercise is ok, as long as you dont push yourself, as your body needs time to heal. Think about the things that bring you joy, the little things, try and get distracted it will help. I also did a rehab course through the Epworth and it had a team of specialists, was brilliant! Theres alot of support out there, and sounds like what you need right now! Hugs Melinda xo 
  • CatNev
    CatNev Member Posts: 19
    Thankyou.  Yes I did see a breast care counsellor, she was very good, but still struggling with controlling my anxiety at night.  Think this might be a time factor thing.  (i hope)  Thankyou for your support. xx
  • primek
    primek Member Posts: 5,392
    Contact either your cancer care team and ask for a counsellor session, or your breast care nurse or you can can present at any major hospital primary health department (or phone them) and they will triage you and can provide you with some support. You are doing a lot of great things already but yes its such a hard journey. My sister came over every day and we just watched TV or went for coffee.  I really needed that daily support. So ask for that help from friends and family. Open up to them how hard it is and you really just need regular company to keep those dark thoughts away.

    The cancer council offer also on call counseling services. Talk to your GP. You may need assistance with an antidepressant that has an anti anxiety component, but that does take a couple of weeks to kick in if started.

    I recall being really frightened after my first chemo. My husband came during treatment in the morning but then went to work. My sister stayed until 5. And on all days my husband worked OT...by 7 I called him in panic, i felt totally weird and terrified if something happened who would help me. Round 2 was better but I had other drugs on board to assist with side effects and by Round 4 I was good.. ..finished then and on to another. We are also given steroids with treatment which can heighten anxiety.

    There is no shame in feeling scared and needing to ask for help. No one but a fellow bc sister / brother can really appreciate the fear that is with us especially at night. The time we worry about the what ifs.

    But know this. It does get better. You will get through and you will draw on strength you never knew you had. And we are here to listen when you need.

    Take Care. Kath x
  • Lmc1310
    Lmc1310 Member Posts: 120
    Hi Carmen, I was diagnosed around same time and surgery and 1/16 chemo over. I have downloaded an app for anxiety (it uses hypnosis and cost $4.99). It has helped incredibly. But may be just a personal thing. Reading messages on this site of support and hope have also helped. I also talk to the red chemo and thank it for helping me - funny hey! My very best wishes and hugs. 
  • Lmc1310
    Lmc1310 Member Posts: 120
    Sorry meant CatNev
  • socoda
    socoda Member Posts: 1,767
    Hi Catnev, I, like Lmc1310, also downloaded an app for my phone to try and help me sleep but mine is rain sounds as I find them very relaxing. You could also try doing some yoga as I was recommended to do many years ago to stop stress - I was internalising stress to the extent I would vomit. Dr recommended yoga - I did it and I have never vomited from stress or anxiety again. It incorporates breathing exercises and using tension and release of muscles to help calm and relax you amongst other exercises. Very beneficial. Hope you find something that helps. Xx Cath
  • CatNev
    CatNev Member Posts: 19
    Thank you for your messages and support
    xx Cathy
  • Cosette
    Cosette Member Posts: 637
    Hi @CatNev, if you're ever looking for your old discussions and comments, you can find them from your profile



    We have a fact sheet on Anxiety, depression and breast cancer that you might find helpful. You can download it here or order a hard copy here.
  • Karenhappyquilter
    Karenhappyquilter Member Posts: 242
    I also suffered a lot of anxiety during chemo.  I have wondered if the drugs we are given are part of the cause of the anxiety.  

    Apart from the sensible things you have tried and the helpful things mentioned in other posts, Especially counseling, I found keeping a journal and writing in it every day quite helpful.  I tried to write about what was good and bad in my day.  I think we often try and put on a brave positive face to family and friends so it's helpful to say it how it is in your journal.  Your journal does not judge you.

    Like you I found the day too long when my husband worked all day.  I tried to arrange for something to happen, usually for someone to visit me, on those days (fortunately he worked part time).  Watching a favorite tv program helped a bit.  I loved Julia Baird at 5.30 pm on the ABC's Drum (she now has cancer sadly).  Also Great British Bakeoff on Foxtell.  

    I am a quilter and found doing some of that was helpful.  If you have a craft now is the time to do it.  

    I never completely conquered my anxiety but I did chemo with it anyway.  I learnt that it is horrible and we don't like it but we turn up, endure it and one day it is over.  

    I wish you the the very best.  This anxiety will pass but it's dreadful while you have it.  Karen 
  • Deanne
    Deanne Member Posts: 2,163
    Hi @CatNev,
    Your post brought back very clear memories of my first chemo. I remember saying to my family, that I did not know how I was going to do this even once more, let alone over and over, again and again. I think it is the effects of the steroid drugs and probably our natural anxiety too. I would feel very blue for a few days each cycle. Chemo is hard but I did get through every single one and you will too.

    Believe it or not you kind of get into a rhythm after a while and you know you will have some bad days but hopefully some better days too. It honestly is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but you just take it one chemo, one day at a time. I planned some little rewards for the days when I would feel ok. This really helped me to keep going. It helps to have something nice to look forward to, or it did for me.

    Here I am almost 4 years later and I'm well and very happy with my life. I would not be here in this situation if I had not had treatment. So remember one day this will be you. Looking back and realizing how tough it was but so glad that your life is good again. Take care. Deanne xxx
  • Ne
    Ne Member Posts: 336
    Oh beautiful woman, I wish I could hug you right now just to say I understand and feel your pain.  You have described my life for the last couple of months to a T.  I have been suffereing debilitating anxiety to a point that my tongue went numb for 3 days with the constant panick.  It is a dreadful feeling.  I also tried deep breathing, meditation, exercise etc.  My GP has increased my anti depressant dose and they gave me sleeping tablets that I could take for a week.  After that my Oncologist nicely explained it to me in my visit to him the other day.  He said that it is so very normal for women who comes out of treatment to experience severe panick and anxiety even months after treatment have stopped because emotional toll of everything that catches up with us is too much.  Then throw in the good dose of menoupause symptoms from ongoing hormonal treatment that doesnt allow our bodies to sleep or function properly which adds to your stress levels and adrenalin levels cause we don't recover if our sleep is disrupted.  I mentioned the hot flushes being the main culprit of keeping me awake and the fact that I can' take sleeping tablets forever so he put me on an anti eleptic drug (used for epilepsy, restless leg syndrome and hot flushes in menoupausal women).  I only take them at night,  they are not sleeping tablets and aren't addictave but they sure take away hot flushes! Since I have been on these tablets I am finally getting some sleep and feel like I am coping much much better than a few weeks ago when I could not even walk into the shopping centre without feeling panicked and like my chest was closing up.

    Having said all that.  I know you asked how do we get help for the anxiety without medication but unfortunately it seems we do sometimes need to take what is available to help with these things.  I would say continue doing the exercising, breathing ect. but if you are given any medication to help alleviate the anxiety then take it to help you get through this time.  I am so glad you have a wonderful partner to support you through this that is understanding.  All the best hun x
  • CatNev
    CatNev Member Posts: 19
    Thank you all for your tremendous support :)