My mum- 46 yr old, grade 3 IDC- Lumpectomy surgery today

Hi Everyone,

I'm 27 and my mum (46 years) has recently been diagnosed with a 14mm (pre surgery) grade 3 IDC and is about to have her lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy today. We wont know what stage and hormone status she is until the 29th.
To give a bit of a background, her nanna and mum have both had breast cancer, with her mum being diagnosed at 44 (ILC, ER+ HER- recurrence in other breast 5 years after, Metastasized to bones and brain). Her mum passed away 10 years ago (60 years old) after a long battle.
As you can imagine, this has been a fear of my mum's for many years and now that it has been realized we are all at a bit of a loss as to what is next in the process. Although treatment and technology have come a long way since my nan's diagnoses it is quite scary after seeing the battle my nan fought.
At this point I'm just looking to reach out to people who have traveled this road. The anxiety and waiting is really hard to deal with and not knowing the full picture at this point.

Comments

  • MiraMira I live in my computer .... Member Posts: 258
    edited December 2016

    Hey Elise, good luck to you and your Mum for today.  I was diagnosed with a 12mm lump almost 2 years ago now.  For me it was a (reasonably) simple case of a lumpectomy, radiation for 4 weeks and now I'm on Tamoxifen for 5 years.  It was just a blip in my life for 3 months.  I also have a strong cancer history in my family.

     I know its very stressful at the moment for you both but hopefully in a few days time your Mum will have a treatment plan.  Once you get that things seem to settle down a bit and you will both know what needs to be done. 

    Best wishes to you both.  I hope she has a speedy recovery from the op and her treatment goes as well as mine did.

  • ShareShare Member Posts: 217

    Hi @Elise1489, I am so sorry for your family's ongoing battle with this insidious disease. Life just seems so unfair at times and your family has already gone through so much for 3 generations now battling breast cancer.

    I am sure that you will hear all sorts of platitudes - "Such dreadful news at this time of year " (a bc diagnosis is NEVER good news, at any time); "I know someone who had breast cancer and they are well now" (that someone is not your Mum).

    In some respects, your Mum has perhaps had this fear hanging over her for so long now, especially having watched her Nanna and her Mum go through this. In 2014, my Mum passed away with secondary bc in the bones at 78, so I can absolutely understand yours and your Mum's fear.

    I was diagnosed with early bc in 2003 (er+) and had a lumpectomy followed by chemo and radiotherapy. I had a recurrence in the same breast in 2007 and had a mastectomy then.

    Last year I was diagnosed with secondary bc in the bones and have had targeted hormone therapy and radiotherapy to several sites where the pain was quite pronounced and bony mets severe.

    Apart from a 3 week stay in hospital earlier this year due to a few complications, I have bounced back quite well.  

    I have to say that 15 months on from diagnosis, following the above treatment I am relatively well and able to work 4 days per week.   

    I wish your Mum all the very best for her surgery today and also the follow up can be so difficult with the wait - it can seem so interminably long especially with the public holidays etc.

    So glad that you have reached out to the online forum and welcome. It is not a club that any of use wish to join if it was our choice but there are so many people who share their stories that hopefully you and your Mum can find information, a sounding board, somewhere to vent etc.

    Also check if your Mum has received a BCNA Hopes & Hurdles package - that is really helpful. Maybe our wonderful admin team like @Di_BCNA can help. Or you can contact the breast care nurse. BCNA or check the website here.

    Your Mum is fortunate to have a wonderful daughter like you. Elise, my hope is for you and your family to enjoy the festive season together (as difficult as it will be) and look forward to spending many more together.   

    Big hugs to you and your Mum.  

    Sheryl xxxx

  • Elise1489Elise1489 Member Posts: 6
    Thank you for your response @Mira. I think the hard thing is I'm aware of how many different variables there are when it comes to breast cancer and it's hard not having the full picture. We were fortunate enough to go through my nan's medical records yesterday and found that there had been some investigation into genetic abnormalities but she never followed up. My mum has been under intense surveillance since she was 32 however she didn't have yearly checks for the last 3 years due to some other health issues. So it's that 3 year window that's really scary. Thank you for your best wishes xx 
  • Elise1489Elise1489 Member Posts: 6
    Hi @Share,

    Thank you so much for sharing your journey with me! I am very sorry to hear about your secondary diagnose and I hope you are feeling well at the moment.
     Like you said, this fear has been around a long time and in some ways I don't think this came as a surprise for her, however it doesn't make it any easier. I should mention that there are 4 of us "kids" (2 sisters 26 and 24, 1 brother 22) and we are a close knit family with lots of support!
    I will look into the package you suggested, I have already ordered a my journey package (with mum's knowledge) for mum.
    I really appreciate people sharing their experiences on here because I know that sometimes you can just get sick of talking about it.
    Wishing you the best in this festive season as well,

    Kind regards
    Amy
    (I use my middle name Elise for usernames out of habit)
  • Ann-Marie_BCNAAnn-Marie_BCNA Administrator Posts: 1,139
    Hi @Elise1489 I just wanted to share the link to the Hope & Hurdles kit and welcome you to the online network. As you can see the members are wonderful and are here to help support both you and your mum. If there is anything I can help you with just let me know.
  • Elise1489Elise1489 Member Posts: 6
    Thank you @Ann-Marie_BCNA
  • iserbrowniserbrown Member Posts: 1,452
    Hi Elise - I can see good advice is coming through for you. Just wanted to say that time does go quickly, even though we don't think that when we are waiting for pathology results et cetera  Once they are in then the plan of treatment will be plotted and onwards and upwards from there.  The Hopes & Hurdles kit is a good read!  Have a look around the site and you'll find all sorts of useful information including a list of what to take to hospital. 
    Take care
  • socodasocoda LeumeahMember Posts: 1,345
    Hi Amy, @Elise1489, What a fantastic support role your filling for your mum. We all acknowledge it can be such a stressful time for your mum, but also know that we also understand how stressful this time can be for you as well. How totally helpless you can feel not being able to ease pain, uncertainty, or fears (although your certainly doing a stellar job in information gathering ;)). Please know that we are here for you also and if you need to relieve stress, talk about your own fears with such a strong family history, rant, cry, vent we will be here for you. Wishing you and your mum and family the best outcome possible. Let us know how your mum gets on. Xx Cath
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 2,819
    Hi and Welcome to the site. The hopes and hurdles package is for ladies with secondary breast cancer. I think this was your Nanna not your Mum. So the package you have ordered is the right one. It is difficult with unknowns and yes a lot has changed even in 10 years. Each persons journey is unique even with similar diagnosis. It is a difficult time not only for your Mum but yourself. Make sure you have an early referral for genetic counselling as it is def time to see if there are other things your Mum might need to do and for yourself. My surgeon said to me though..."Even if positive for a gene mutation...this changes nothing we need to do today to treat your breast cancer" . This helped with the unknowns, and the testing just included or excluded the need for surgery at a later time to reduce risks. Take care. Kath 
  • Elise1489Elise1489 Member Posts: 6
    Hi @primek

    Thank you for your kind words. And yes, it was my nanna that had the secondary, I was thinking I might need to clarify that.
    Thankfully mum's lumpectomy went well and the preliminary analysis of the sentinel nodes had them as clear. 
    Mum was suppose to have prophylactic surgery this year but that has changed until post treatment hopefully.
    thanks again and best wishes for the festive season
    Amy 
  • primekprimek Broken HillMember Posts: 2,819
    @Elise1489 Fantastic news on the sentinal node. I had bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction with tissue expanders. ..so if you or your Mum want to ask more questions about that when it's time, feel free. I was 51 when diagnosed.
  • melclaritymelclarity Member Posts: 2,261
    Hi Amy! So sorry to hear of your mum! My Mum had Breast cancer at 40, had a mastectomy and no treatment....survived 26yrs. Passed away 66yo of unrelated cancer. I was in the system since my late 30's and diagnosed 2011, dcis radiation and tamoxifen. 2015 recurrence chemo 4.5 ,months and now Arimidex. All clear going well now and just about to have a mastectomy for prevention. My genetic testing is negative. Hang in there, one step at a time, Sending you hugs and support for some good results. Melinda x 
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