Small acts of kindness!
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Ann-Marie
Member Posts: 1,142 ✭
Share your favourite small acts
of kindness
The holiday season is upon us.
We know this time of year can be challenging for our members. We also know
that, as a supporter, it’s hard to know what to say or what to do when we learn
that someone we love is diagnosed with breast cancer. So, let’s give them a
helping hand.
Think back to when you were
newly diagnosed or undergoing treatment. What are some of the special little
things that a family member, friend, or colleague did that helped make things a
little easier for you, that made you feel supported, and that brightened up
your day?
We’ll collect these and create a
little resource for supporters that they can use this holiday season.
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Comments
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My next door neighbour, who is in her eighties would come around to visit with a meal cooked so I didn't have to worry about cooking. She is a good cook and now that I back on chemo again and not feeling great she came to visit with some flowers from her garden and also made me a berry smoothie. I have other friends who visit and stay for a chat. A friend today drop in and gave me a flowering plant., so I am rather spoilt. I am greatful for my elderly neighbor as she is like a mother to me. Not forgeting my husband is my unsung hero.6
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My friends put in and bought me a mastectomy swimsuit and a cancer council sun smart fabric swim cap as I loved swimming. Both got well used and assisted in my surgery recovery and keeping some level of fitness on chemo.7
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My boys organised to be here for Mother's Day, right after my diagnosis and surgery - they arrived at the door from interstate and overseas - it was the most amazing boost and meant so much to me. I love them so much.
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I got the shock of my life when I came home from work and my 18 year old son had shaved his head to show his support before I started chemo. I never expected him to do that. He didn't want me going through being bald alone.10
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My mum put money in my undie draw tied up with a love heart9
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I was working in a special team and one of the requirements for being chosen to work in that team was that I did not take any leave during a specific period of time, I then had to explain to my team members why I was not going to be at work for an unspecified period of time. My mastectomy was scheduled for the Wednesday after the Queens Birthday long weekend. On the Friday prior to the long weekend my team threw a Good luck party for me and had gone to the trouble of all making home made dishes that were special to them. I was given a magnificent send off which also included an absolutely gorgeous hand knitted scarf so I could wrap my neck and shoulders up and stay warm while I sat in my garden and recuperated. Truly perfect and incredibly touching. Other team mates sent me the most colourful, stunning bunch of flowers to celebrate my birthday which was the day after I was released from hospital. Very very much appreciated and the flowers that were picked totally made my day with their beauty. I am so very incredibly lucky to work with such wonderful, thoughtful people. Add to that my wonderful older sister who came and stayed for two weeks so that she could drive my beautiful mum to come and visit me every day of my 5 day stay in hospital and the two also attended my surgeons appointments with me. Priceless shows of love.
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And I would also like to say What a lovely discussion thread
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After my daughter was diagnosed with Depression late 2014...she battled through VCE 2015 and then the big blow I had a recurrence and subsequently 4.5 months of Chemo from August. I dont know how I got her through...but she too got me through...very tough time being the only parent. Unbeknownst to me she put together the most gorgeous tribute and picture of the two of us and shared it with the world. Took my breath away, was beautiful.4
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My daughter ran in the Mother's Day Classic for me. That was very special.3
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M sisters gave me money t get a cleaner. A very dear friend anonymously left money to pay for my wig.
The best things I loved was when my friends took me out for coffee and we could have a good laugh.
Paula xx5 -
I was diagnosed at Christmas time, so I didn't say anything to family and friends until January 4 (when I got the black and white of it all) as soon as my (husband's) family found out they kicked into action with preparing meals that could be frozen. They took me out when i felt well enough during treatment and kept me laughing.....My daughter returned home after being out of home for two years (she has now left again! LOL) she has her own issues.....my dog never left my side......my neighbours did what they could to help like cooking and mowing our front lawn for us (something he still does!) ....we also belong to a Hot Rod community (we own a 1939 Chev) and they rallied together to put on an Australia's Biggest Morning Tea in my honour....there was a jumping castle, face painter, cake stall and silent auction....we raised over $2500 for the cancer council! I think the thing that had the biggest impact was when my husband showed up home with a freshly shaved head! He still rocks the bald look while I now have more hair!5
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What really helped me at the start was my hubby's niece who is a GP conversed and helped me through everything in chat on Facebook. It was really good to have a medical person to explain and allay my fears and tell me what sort of things I was entitled to.
Initially my McGrath breast nurse was great as well until she got really busy and sort of dropped away. She got me the journey kit organised and got the specialist to review my breast after biopsy as it was really swollen and I thought the cancer was growing. Turned out it was a fatty lump on the other side which showed up more with the pressure and clot in the biopsy part. Still very grateful my nurse listened and organised an extra consult with the specialist for me.
An older nurse who had retired yet came back to work was introducing me to the CT Scan. She had also finished menopause herself and had worked in the chemo section of the hospital before. After the scan she made us a cuppa and spent a good 3/4 hour explaining menopause and chemo and answered a ton of scared little questions we had. We came away from that scan feeling we could take on the world.
I had only just moved to my beach house 6 months before my cancer diagnosis but my neighbours all introduced themselves and supported me with calls and meals during my treatments. Even a lady who walked her dogs on the beach when I did dropped off some flowers to my door. I didn't even know her name at that time, just her dogs.
A special mention of one of my neighbours who rang me while I was in hospital after a mastectomy. It was a time I felt really down, after chucking up all night, her call just bolstered me up no end. Perfect timing it was for me.
I realised what wonderful online friends I have both here on the forum and on Facebook. People I have never met before but who share a common interest and take the time to cheer me up and support me. It is invaluable.
At the same time I have discovered some members of family are not supportive and who say they love you but it seems only in the duty they feel to you as a relative when you greet them. Otherwise they are pretty much out of my life now and I will stop trying with the relationships as there is never anything back. Knowing where one stands lets you get on with life and enjoy it.
I haven't mentioned my hubby but he is my soul mate and what happens in life happens to us both. We muddled through it all together through good times and bad and we're still together.
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The things that had the biggest impact for me were during my recovery. I wanted to live a very healthy, active lifestyle. My eldest daughter helped to change a lot of our diet and gave me a lovely diary to record my exercise in. My husband and both daughters walked by my side in the Mothers Day Classic to mark my first year anniversary of diagnosis. Then when I wanted to take on a 10km walk to raise money for the Cancer Council, my daughter came with me for support. I also very much appreciated the supportive donations and messages that I received from many friends and family.
My husband was also a huge support attending all my chemo sessions and many of my medical appointments during treatment. But then he took on the biggest ever challenge to be my side when we trekked to Everest Base Camp to celebrate my 3 year anniversary of diagnosis. This from a man who delighted in telling everyone he had not walked anywhere since he got a licence at 17! Now we regularly hike on weekends and love spending time together in this way.
Again the support we received from family and friends to achieve this goal was wonderful. We raised over $10,000 for the Cancer Council and could not have done this or got ourselves there without that support.
It was the recognition that these were very important goals to me and receiving the support to achieve them that meant so much.6 -
Such A Wonderful Post x0
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Before I stopped work my colleagues put on an afternoon tea for me and presented me with a lovely tea set (am a big tea drinker) together with tummy tea to help with tummy upsets during chemo and toiletries which were hypoallergenic.
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