omg...... I have breast cancer
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dondon73
Member Posts: 6 ✭
My partner signed me up to this forum so that I could talk to people that will understand what I am going through, somewhere I can talk to people that are going through the same pain and anguish that I am going through, somewhere I can put my thoughts so that I can understand things. So here goes, Hi my name is Donna, I am a mother of three beautiful children, 19, 3 and 2. My partner is a paramedic and I was a student paramedic and had just finished all my studies so that I could finally go back on road, as I had taken time off when I had my two babies.
Recently I was diagnosed with Inflammatory breast cancer, well only two weeks ago, everything is happening so quickly with all the testing and diagnosis and first round of Chemo, I feel that my head is still spinning and I haven't had much time to really process what is happening.
Just over two months ago I went to my doctor with a lump in my breast, that was causing me some pain. She didn't really look at it, but got me to get a FNA biopsy ordered, (as 10 months previously I had a lump in same breast which turned out to be benign, no further investigation was required). We lived in a small country town and closest place to get this done was over 400km away, so getting this organised was a little hard. We were in the process of moving back to Brisbane, as my 3 year old boy had only just been diagnosed with being autistic and we wanted to move closer to better help for him and to get support from family. So we waited till we finished moving, by the time we had this done was about three weeks later, my boob had just about tripled in size, I had extreme pain, bruising, heat, discharge from my nipple and deformity to my breast. Whilst doing this first FNA biopsy they needed to remove 80mls of fluid so that they could get the biopsy from the lump in my breast. After getting the results my new doctor in Brisbane, he referred me to a specialist, all my results on the documents he handed us said was fluid was atypical and cells from lump were Suspicious for carcinoma, so we were hopeful that it was not too serious. I saw my specialist four days later, after he looked at the results from FNA and blood works, he wanted to look at my breast, within minutes of viewing he organised me to get CT scan, mammogram, bone scan, ultra sound and core biopsy (where an additional 80mls of fluid was removed). Whilst getting my mammogram done, my specialist came and saw me and advised me that he had organised a MRI. Everything was happening so quickly, I started to get scared and started to think that there was way more to this than I had and my partner had thought and the tears started flowing. (being paramedics we had researched so much and looked at many different articles and maybe we overlooked things). After having my MRI done my specialist had rang me again to inform me that that I had inflammatory breast cancer (this was the first time that any of the doctors had told me that I had cancer) and that he had me booked into see an oncologist, so that we could get chemotherapy started ASAP. Chemo was organised for the following Tuesday and am now having chemo every two weeks for four months, then the specialist will see if it small enough to remove, especially from my lymph node and then we will decide if we removed both boobs or just the cancer.
That is when it hit me, shit this is real, I have cancer, not just any cancer I had Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive breast cancer, which had gone into a lymph node under my armpit and which was just starting to move into my chest wall. My world just shattered around me.... holy fuck I must be dreaming, how dare this happen to me, how am I supposed to return to my job that I have waited so long to do, how is my little man going to be able to cope with his mummy being sick, how is my partner going to cope.. I currently have a hole in my breast where the skin has broken from the tightening of the skin and is now leaking fluid, the skin is just peeling away and my oncologist has advised me that this hole will increase, that I should not get to alarmed if that was to happen and that the breast nurses will be able to assist with dressing that and show me what needs to be done,......is just disgusting!! My partner cleans and dresses this for me every couple of days, sometimes every day! He is a gem and I don't think he will ever realise how awesome he is....I just think this is just so unfair and I am very angry!
It was so very hard to tell my parents and my brothers and especially my 19 year old daughter and my best friend... so many tears and some laughing was involved but I think it will get easier for all of us to actually sit and talk about it more.
I had beautiful think long hair, which of course I would not be able to keep, so my daughter flew down from Rockhampton and we shaved our hair together, she wanted to do it so that she could show her support to me and so marked it as a day that I took a little bit of control! We took family pictures and recorded the event so that we could look back and see how we took control and how brave we were. This was a day when we all cried and laughed, it was awesome!! A day that I will never forget, a day to remember as a good day!
I go back to get my second round of Chemo this Friday, I am some what scared and a little apprehensive but one thing is I have never felt so many hands of support than what I have had the last two weeks, from the fantastic people I used to work with and that my partner works with.... Family that I did not have much contact with have also been showing me that they are here for me.... It has been great, makes me a little sad that it has taken something like this to bring us all together! I just hope one day I can turn to them and tell them how truly grateful I am..... I will never forget them!
Thank you for allowing me to write my thoughts and ramble on a little... IT does actually help
Recently I was diagnosed with Inflammatory breast cancer, well only two weeks ago, everything is happening so quickly with all the testing and diagnosis and first round of Chemo, I feel that my head is still spinning and I haven't had much time to really process what is happening.
Just over two months ago I went to my doctor with a lump in my breast, that was causing me some pain. She didn't really look at it, but got me to get a FNA biopsy ordered, (as 10 months previously I had a lump in same breast which turned out to be benign, no further investigation was required). We lived in a small country town and closest place to get this done was over 400km away, so getting this organised was a little hard. We were in the process of moving back to Brisbane, as my 3 year old boy had only just been diagnosed with being autistic and we wanted to move closer to better help for him and to get support from family. So we waited till we finished moving, by the time we had this done was about three weeks later, my boob had just about tripled in size, I had extreme pain, bruising, heat, discharge from my nipple and deformity to my breast. Whilst doing this first FNA biopsy they needed to remove 80mls of fluid so that they could get the biopsy from the lump in my breast. After getting the results my new doctor in Brisbane, he referred me to a specialist, all my results on the documents he handed us said was fluid was atypical and cells from lump were Suspicious for carcinoma, so we were hopeful that it was not too serious. I saw my specialist four days later, after he looked at the results from FNA and blood works, he wanted to look at my breast, within minutes of viewing he organised me to get CT scan, mammogram, bone scan, ultra sound and core biopsy (where an additional 80mls of fluid was removed). Whilst getting my mammogram done, my specialist came and saw me and advised me that he had organised a MRI. Everything was happening so quickly, I started to get scared and started to think that there was way more to this than I had and my partner had thought and the tears started flowing. (being paramedics we had researched so much and looked at many different articles and maybe we overlooked things). After having my MRI done my specialist had rang me again to inform me that that I had inflammatory breast cancer (this was the first time that any of the doctors had told me that I had cancer) and that he had me booked into see an oncologist, so that we could get chemotherapy started ASAP. Chemo was organised for the following Tuesday and am now having chemo every two weeks for four months, then the specialist will see if it small enough to remove, especially from my lymph node and then we will decide if we removed both boobs or just the cancer.
That is when it hit me, shit this is real, I have cancer, not just any cancer I had Inflammatory Breast Cancer, a rare and aggressive breast cancer, which had gone into a lymph node under my armpit and which was just starting to move into my chest wall. My world just shattered around me.... holy fuck I must be dreaming, how dare this happen to me, how am I supposed to return to my job that I have waited so long to do, how is my little man going to be able to cope with his mummy being sick, how is my partner going to cope.. I currently have a hole in my breast where the skin has broken from the tightening of the skin and is now leaking fluid, the skin is just peeling away and my oncologist has advised me that this hole will increase, that I should not get to alarmed if that was to happen and that the breast nurses will be able to assist with dressing that and show me what needs to be done,......is just disgusting!! My partner cleans and dresses this for me every couple of days, sometimes every day! He is a gem and I don't think he will ever realise how awesome he is....I just think this is just so unfair and I am very angry!
It was so very hard to tell my parents and my brothers and especially my 19 year old daughter and my best friend... so many tears and some laughing was involved but I think it will get easier for all of us to actually sit and talk about it more.
I had beautiful think long hair, which of course I would not be able to keep, so my daughter flew down from Rockhampton and we shaved our hair together, she wanted to do it so that she could show her support to me and so marked it as a day that I took a little bit of control! We took family pictures and recorded the event so that we could look back and see how we took control and how brave we were. This was a day when we all cried and laughed, it was awesome!! A day that I will never forget, a day to remember as a good day!
I go back to get my second round of Chemo this Friday, I am some what scared and a little apprehensive but one thing is I have never felt so many hands of support than what I have had the last two weeks, from the fantastic people I used to work with and that my partner works with.... Family that I did not have much contact with have also been showing me that they are here for me.... It has been great, makes me a little sad that it has taken something like this to bring us all together! I just hope one day I can turn to them and tell them how truly grateful I am..... I will never forget them!
Thank you for allowing me to write my thoughts and ramble on a little... IT does actually help
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Comments
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Hey Donna - I'm new here too. Of course, that's why we're both awake so late! I underwent a mastectomy 5 weeks ago, just 2 weeks after diagnosis. What hell we endure! I'm so glad you have a loving and supportive family - lean on them. I've been told to learn to accept ANY offers of help and to take, and ask for time out when it's needed. I'll be starting chemo in the coming weeks and am terrified of that next step. I've heard that using ice gloves and booties helps stop neuropathy in fingers and toes, so I'll be doing that, and if you have any handy hints as you progress do share! Thinking of you. Karen1
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Donna,
I am so sorry to hear of your Diagnosis and what has brought you here. One thing is for certain and I think we can all agree on this Forum, is we are taken by surprise, our worlds are turned upside down, some more than others, its frightening beyond belief. A million emotions all of which you are entitled to, and what we all have to learn to sit with. Wonderful you have such great support, its so important and I know how incredibly difficult it is as you say on everyone around you. But Ive learnt through my 5yr journey of Breast Cancer twice that this time whilst I appreciated so very much the support, my focus had to be finally on me, I couldnt worry about the rest. This was so hard!!! but its the loss of control of all of it even work. Once I succumb to that I was so much better just doing a day to day and getting through what I had to.
Nobody understands like those who are going through it, family are wonderful but I cant talk to them as they don't get it! and how could they? I understand about your Son, I work with Autistic Children and I love it, but 9 months post chemo working 3 days I am struggling badly and devastated that I may have to stop work for a while. Its a long haul, not a quick fix, so take a deep breath, and tackle one thing at a time and just keep talking.
Hugs Melinda xo2 -
Hi Donna and welcome!! Sounds like you have jam packed a huge lot of things into your two months and how awesome that your daughter shaved her head in support!!
As for your studies and training you will still be able to use them just not quite as soon as you had hoped but they are there waiting patiently in the background until you are well and healed. Thank goodness your BC has been diagnosed now and that it manifested in a lump (even if its a nasty lump it's still a lifesaving lump). Wishing you all the best, keep us up to date with how your going. Xx Cath 0 -
Hey Donna, I just wanted to add my hands to those supporting you. Post here whenever you need to, that's what we are all here for.1
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Hi Donna - Pleased to see you have found this forum.
There is a wealth of information on the site. Have you looked at the Resources area? If you haven't got it already, order your free My Journey Kit - it's a wealth of information including a calendar for all your appointments and somewhere to keep track of what feels like the never ending expenses.
Good luck with treatment and I hope your journey doesn't have too many twists and turns.
Take care from Christine xx
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Welcome to the site. What a challenging time you have had. The beginning is always a whirlwind...your life just stops for a bit and it becomes all about cancer and treatment. It will get better but you still have a long journey to go. We are here to listen when you need to share. Kath x0
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We are here for you any time and you don't even have to be as nice as you are. If you want to have a good old rant about anything go right ahead even if you cant type straight and you forget words which you can do when on chemo. HugZ 1
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Hi there dondon73, I just wanted to jump in also to welcome you to the network and to let you know that if you need any help getting around the network or finding support, please just let me know :-) x1
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Thank you for your words of support!!0
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Welcome visit often0
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Hi Donna, Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis and totally understand your worrying about your young son with autism. I have a 24 yo son with autism who is still living with me (I wouldn't have it any other way). I've been a sole parent since my son was 2 yo - no support from his father at all. The first thing I thought of was how I would break the news to my son and how what would happen to him if something should happen to me. I found this scarier than the actual cancer diagnosis but I'm almost finished treatment now and doing ok except for some side effects of chemo still hanging around. You will get through it and sounds like you have a great support network and wonderful partner and family. That is so important. Please stay on this forum and let us know how you're going. Hugs, Rachel xx
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Hi Donna. I am sorry to hear of your diagnosis but I am so glad your partner signed you up to this forum. I too have a son, 19, with autism and that has been hard but also joyous and never dull! I am near finishing 12 months of treatment and just wanted to let you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are all here for you and 'get it.' Come on here any time you need to. Hugs, Nadine1
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HI Donna, I agree with everything the others have written.. it is a whirlwind and I want to encourage you I have 2 boys now 29 & 22 who have autism and I am now 4 years since diagnosis and they have learnt some independence that this journey has forced upon us.... we are very strong as a single parent family and I know you have a strong network there...
come back often and rant laugh cry we understand.
@ Nadi & @ Rachel01 our Autistic children often see the simplistic things we don't in the midst of this journey... My 29 year old said the day we told him ... " I am crying inside sorry it doesnt show outside of me" that broke my heart but it was a learning curve about how we could connect with him on emotional issues.
Hugs and Energy for your journey ahead
Soldier Crab aka Alice
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Hey there Donna,
welcome to the network, I hope that we can be supportive for you. Just take it 1 treatment at a time, and you'll get there. We do understand that overwhelming feeling when that initial diagnosis takes place, it really sucks.
Sending you a big cuddle, and thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
Trace0 -
Thank you everyone for your kind words and support!!
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