6 months pregnant and newly diagnosed

Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
edited September 2016 in Health and wellbeing

Hi All

Newly diagnosed and 6 months pregnant with my 3rd son. Wow what a hectic 2 weeks iots been. Suspicous nipple sore, specialist, biopsy (YEEEOW), more biopsies, scans, diagonsis (stage 2, grade 3 ductile), masectomy - all between 17th dec and xmas! My head is still spinning.

I think I'm comfortable the oncologist and surgeon, who have been wonderful, know what they are doing (all happened so quick haven't had time to think about it) But I now have to change Obs, birthing hospitals, change from private to public, breastfeeding is not an option (I breastfed my other 2 sons) - and it all seems so scary and overwhelming. 

I know we all are going through a shitty time, and I'm lucky to be having my third. But I am just so scared. I am also the type of person who has to know EVERY detail and plan, well ahead of time, and all the possible outcomes. I lost my mum last year at 57 to leukemia, and my inlaws live interstate.

 Although I have great friends and an awesome community, fantastic hubby etc for support I still feel very alone.

Thanks for the vent, seems writing this down helps ;) 

Emma xx

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Comments

  • Tracey62Tracey62 Gold CoastMember Posts: 298
    edited December 2015

    Hi Emma,

    what a lot you have had to deal with in such a short period of time, when this is meant to be a joyful time for you. No wonder your head is spinning. I can't help but think what courage it took to make your treatment decisions so quickly, clearly you are a woman of strength and determination. 

    I have a friend who was diagnosed in her second trimester, had chemo with Bub in utero, delivered a beautiful healthy baby girl, then completed her surgery and chemo after Bub was born.  Her story really encouraged me when I was diagnosed. This is a really challenging time for you but changing Obs & hospitals will mean you have a specialist obstetrician who is experienced with your complicated case.

    just deal with one day at a time. You have done so well to get where you are today. Remember, today you have 2 beautiful children, a precious little one on the way, a husband to care for you and a whole team of people around you who are there to help, give advice and allow you to make your own choices. Yes, it's scary, but you are strong and you will make it through this. Wishing you all the best, Tracey ??

  • NadiNadi Member Posts: 516
    edited December 2015

    Hi Emma

    So sorry you are going through this too and are pregnant at the same time. I too have three sons but I was diagnosed in October when they were 21,18 and 16 which is very different. The first few weeks go so quick because there is so much going on so vent away. After that the breast cancer side of things generally slow down. My own experience is that it can really help to share what you are going through with others who have gone through the same or similar. I have received some fantastic advice from the wonderful ladies on this network who have gone before me. So we are here to help if we can.

    I am also a person who like to know all the details and plan ahead. Unfortunately I am coming to terms with the fact that in my own journey it is not always possible to know everything ahead of time. As Tracey said, take it one day at a time - but I also know that sometimes that's easier said than done. Some days may feel too overwhelming but then the next day may be easier. Keep strong and please stay in touch.

    Take care, Nadine

     

  • Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
    edited December 2015

    Thanks Tracey. Your words mean a lot. I guess I'm more upset about the change in obs etc than logically I should because as you say it means bubs and I have the right specialists etc. It's just one more change I guess and I'm trying to hold onto something. 

    I'm going to have to learn to be less stubborn and let people help. 

    Em xx

  • Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
    edited December 2015

    Thanks Nadine. As much as I hate to think of anyone having to go through this I know that I am not alone in taking this journey.

    Details are my life (I'm an engineer) so just taking a day at a time and not knowing what is around the corner is going to be hard for me.  But 2 little boys and bubs is sure to keep me busy.  

    Thanks for your kind words, 

    Em xx 

  • rowdyrowdy Member Posts: 1,160
    edited December 2015

    Hi Emma welcome to this site., I'm glad that you have found this site so you can vent away. Everybodies trip is so different, but trying to take it 1 day at a time can be hard but sometimes the only way to get to the end.

    Take any help that is offered  you will need it, and yes it is a shitty trip, take care

     

     

     

     

  • Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
    edited December 2015

    Thanks Rowdy xx

  • Cook65Cook65 Member Posts: 726
    edited January 2016

    Hi Emma

    welcome but so sorry you have had to join us. Another little boy! How wonderful for you. 

    It's hard in the early days as you don't know what's going to happen and the goal posts seems to be forever moving. It is a lonely time as it feels like no one gets it but that's where this forum comes into it's own. Although we are all individuals and our diagnosis and treatments are all different, you will generally find someone who has been through what you are going through to some extent and understand. It really does help to get it out of your head and down on paper so to speak. It is a scary process but you will get through it. It's not pleasant by any means but neither is the other option. Write down all of your questions and ask your health professionals everything you want to know. If you haven't got it yet, a my journey kit may be of help. Lots of useful information. You can always ask any questions here as well. All the best and take care. Karen xox

  • Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
    edited January 2016

    Thanks Karen. Yup very scary and all happened so fast my head is spinning!

    I guess now that the first part (diagnosis and surgery) is over, its a waiting game now for the chemo. My first AC treatment is in ~2 weeks and I'm kinda nervous about what is going to happen.

    I saw my mum go through chemo (for leukemia) and it was not pleasant to see let alone how she must have felt :(

    I do have the my journey kit, so much info to read through and digest!

    Thanks again xox

     

     

  • Tracey_BTracey_B Orbost, VictoriaMember Posts: 1,178
    edited January 2016

    Hi Emma,

    we all understand your concerns. This site is great for support and advice, just keep logging in with us. 

    Sending you a big cuddle, Trace ????????

  • mumofonemumofone Member Posts: 5
    edited February 2016

    Hi Emma,

    Sorry to respond so late - I only login every now and then. That's a lot to go through in a week (and the inevitable rest!) 

    I was diagnosed at 37 weeks with my first so she was induced at 38+6. I understand the feeling of having your birth plans (and breastfeeding etc) being taken away from you, it's really shitty. I was more upset about being told I couldn't breastfeed than the diagnosis itself, I think.

    My daughter is nearly 6 months now and I have 3 more rounds of taxol (chemo) to go and then see the surgeon again for a likely mastectomy (I had a sentinel node biopsy and axillary clearance shortly after the birth with one node showing signs of cancer.) I have radiotherapy after that plus more rounds of herceptin (as my cancer is er, pr and her2 positive.)

    You'll get through it. It's not ideal timing but when is this news ever ideal? 

    Best of luck with the new bub - I'm not sure whether you're having him early or not but if not it must be getting close to the birth which is very exciting!! 

    I'm so sorry to hear you've lost your Mum to (a different type of) cancer so recently too. We lost my Dad in 2010 to renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer) but I can't imagine what losing your Mum must have been like.

    You sound like a strong person mentally and I'm sure you will put this in the past once it's all over and done with. My advice (being a similar type A personality) is accept just about every bit of help you're offered and if friends ask how they can help and you can't think of anything ask if they're happy to cook a dinner you can freeze. Things like that really helped me even.though I usually try to do everything myself.

    Good luck with your 3 boys and of course getting through all of this.

    Marina

    xxoo

  • Emma HEmma H Member Posts: 48
    edited February 2016

    HI Marina

     

    Thanks for your kind words. Yes I agree having breastfeeding taken away from me, my choice of obs, hospitals for bub etc has upset me the most I think. Especially as this is my third and I thought I knew what I was doing but it's all changed.

    I'm being induced 5 weeks early so can fit in with my chemo cycles (currently on 3 weekly AC). They didn't want to delay the chemo...

    Not having mum is so hard and the side effects of chemo are similar so it is also hard to see but  I feel removed like it is happening but not quite to me. Tiredness is my biggest issue, with two other little boys plus it seems 4-5 medical appts per week for me and/or bub let alone final stage preg and chemo. Plus my eldest just started school, and I feel so bad for him I can't get involved more.

    On the upside I have wonderful friends and family helping me and I am pregnant with my third child (and he is trhiving - not bothered at all) - so many people on here have the fertility choice taken away from them. I can't imagine having to decide those sort of choices.

    I do have my moments but I try and look for the "good" (or at least remind myself it could be worse).

    Em xx

     

     

  • mumofonemumofone Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2016

    Hi Em,

    It sounds like you are doing all the right things and have this under control, despite all the other family challenges. Family challenges are good, but they're still challenges!

    I found the fatigue the worst too. Morning sickness in pregnancy was far worse than any nausea I experienced on AC chemo.

    You must have a little bub (congratulations!!) only a few weeks old now and right in the thick of sleepless nights as well as chemo.  I hope you're starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Just keep doing what you're doing and know it gets easier in time. 

    I've had my mastectomy now and am about a third the way through radiotherapy. My daughter is now 9 and a half months old - again, sorry this reply is so delayed! Hopefully we'll be able to give her a little sister or brother in a year or two once all the rough treatment has come to an end. If not, I'm so pleased to have her that I'm totally okay with having just one child if it comes to that.

    Good luck with everything, you'll smash this!!

    Marina

    PS: I just can't imagine what going through this must be like without your Mum but no doubt she gave you the "tools" to deal with something like this long before she passed away so you can always be grateful for that. xx

  • Tracey_BTracey_B Orbost, VictoriaMember Posts: 1,178
    edited May 2016

    Hi Emma, and welcome to our site. You've been through heaps and have so much to consider. You'll get lots of support and advice here, people who understand your anxieties, and who can steer you in the right direction. Sending you and your family a big cuddle, Trace ????????

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