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Here I go again

joro84
joro84 Member Posts: 8
edited September 2016 in Metastatic breast cancer

Today i have been told that i have secondary breast cancer in my spine.

So here we go again. I was first diagnosed with primary breast cancer in April 2012, after several months that included 3 surguries, 9 lots of chemo and 10 weeks of radiation,  I was left with some side effects that I may not be happy with but learning to live with, i had considered myself lucky to have dodged a bullet....... but it seems that i must have swerved a bit and     bang hit again.

And once again i ask, why me.?????

feeling quite empty, thinking obout the worse case senario. Worried about telling my family. My prescious son, who is about to become a father for the first time in April,  how can i take the joy that he is at present feeling, away from him??  my heart just aches for him and my beautiful daughter-in law

wish that some one could tell me what to expect in the next couple of weeks as i climb back aboard the madness that is CANCER

Comments

  • mona63
    mona63 Member Posts: 237
    edited March 2015

    sorry to hear about this: as bad as first time is: roller coaster: it must be a different kind of terrible the second time.   I did a professional education session where someone spoke about most people these days will get cancer twice in lifetime... easy for him to say ... But just recently I found out that someone who looks great and very present has had bc twice ; last time being 20 years ago... best wishes. 

  • joro84
    joro84 Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2015

    Is there ay one who has had a similar situation as me. Primary breast cancer in 2012, 2 lumpectomy s chemo, andradiation.  Within 17 months Life was at last back to normal, although a hiccup with me being made redundant in my sales management position that I had held for 21 years. So I started my own sales consultants business,  I have 1/2 a dozen customers and make a decent living.  Yippie life is great again. 

    Fast forward to last week. I now have secondary breast cancer in my spine... . I am so confused dont know what treatment I should go with. The idea of chemo again  devastates me. I have spoken with my oncologist,  he is so great. But what I wanted to ask him, , was will this kill me!!!!. So im asking you my bcna friends have you been where I am now. What treatmeat is available. What can I expect as far as quality of life.  

    Also very scary not to have the backup of a workplace as I did last time. Being self employed now terrifies me. All monies coming in will have to go out in wages . Also because I am a single girl, there isn't a second income to fall back on.   And because I hadnt passed the 5 year  remission period I haven't been able to get income or personal insurance. 

  • Karen C
    Karen C Member Posts: 25
    edited March 2015

    Dear jojo84,What a shock, just when you are getting your life back.The numbness of shock slowly wears off & we can think again.My bone mets diagnosis came 20 years after my primary,and while it has continued to spread,8 years on,it is still only in my bones. I have been on a number of different tablets with minimal side effects & long periods of control. I have grown up children and a loving husband,so things are a bit different for me, but I hope my little note lifts your spirits & gives you hope for the future....we all need it. Good luck from Karen.

  • joro84
    joro84 Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2015

    Thank you all for your words of support

  • Wendyj
    Wendyj Member Posts: 54
    edited March 2015

    Hi Joro84

    We share a very similar story. I found a lump in July 2012, saw a Doctor in the August who told me "it wasnt a nasty lump as it was sofy and moved with the tissue" Literally the next day I was made redundant from a job I loved as a Recruitment Director for a well known company in Melbourne  - my career highlight. Decided to move back to Sydney and so was contracting, Lump had grown bigger so finally got it checked again and bang 1st diagnosis of breast cancer. However all was positive had surgery - lumpectomy, lymph node dissesction, then adjuvent treatment 16 rounds of chemo, 35 rounds of rads. I was in remission. Had managed to conitnue getting work on a contract basis - god knows how as very hard to get employers toagree to taake you on when you are on chemo but I did. Was in remission for 12 months and then routine check up with oncologist and tumour markers were elevated (1 above normal) back in for scans and bang 2nd diagnosis of bone mets  to spine, ribs and hip. Getting your head in the right space is the tough one. I did not feel ill. My oncologist however was very positive as many women go on to live a long time with bone mets as whilst not curable it is treatable and there are a lot of drugs available these days. My treatment is that I am now on Arimidex and Bondronat. Oncologist has said if progression changes which it will at some point we change treatment which may include some more chemo. Radiation can be used to skrink any tumours that are causing pain and give pretty much insstant relief. Since I have been on bondranat have no achy bones whatsoever which I did have before (put it down to too much bush walking at the time). So for me at the moment I have check every 6 weeks and that will determine the treatment regime I will be on. I am still working full time as secured a permanent position in Nov 2013.

    Everyone is different but I have got to the point where I am carrying as per normal and don't really give it that much thought. My mantra is worry about things when they happen not a moment before and normally when there is worrying news you just get on with dealing with it as best you can. Initially though I was a bit absorbed with the "what is to come" but just found that not being to control that made me feel more out of control of the disease. So now I get up and say yep I feel good so life is good.

    The good news I got was that within 6 weeks of being on Armidex one of my tumours on my ribs had gone or no evidence of it on scans. It is amazing what these drugs can do!

    Hope this helps

     

    DX Jan 2013 IDC ER+ Stage 2b Grade 3, Lymph Node dissection 6/12. Chemo EC 4 sessions, Taxol 12 sessions. Rads 30 + 5 sessions. Tamoxifen for 12 months. DX Bone Mets Oct 2014 Armidex and Bondronat